Tag: Melancholia

The Boy and the Heron (君たちはどう生きるか) – Bittersweet Reality of the Artistic Legacy

Studio Ghibli’s masterpiece The Boy and the Heron (君たちはどう生きるか, How do you live?) tries to answer one complicated question on artistic legacy. On surface, it is a story of boy coming out of the melancholy of his mother’s death and his new beginnings. Deep down it is a love letter from a creative father on his creative legacy to his son who wants to go on his own journey. It shows how difficult it is to make others appreciate a personal piece of creation, emotion and how to leave a truly influential legacy behind.

A creative father’s love-letter on his legacy to his beloved son

We are always in a pursuit of creation of something to ensure better coming days. Survival is one aspect of it but as the time moved on, we have comfortably brought ourselves to ensure our sustenance. Most of us can live a basic life and rarely worry about what to eat tomorrow. Once such stage is achieved, you will see that our efforts to create and accumulate still have never stopped. Now we are creating and accumulating for even better days than other, once this is achieved, we continue creating and accumulating so that our new generation will see better days. This act of creating a legacy is not just a matter of survival, it is also matter of preserving some part of ourselves even when we won’t physically exist in this world.

It is easy to see what happens to the materialistic legacy like wealth, but it becomes very tricky to handover the moralistic, value based, character-based legacy to the next generation because of the differences in the ways to live and understand the life. The passage of time alters some truths to the new generations thereby changing their mindsets and moral compasses. Even though our animal drives, emotions are exactly the same the motivations behind them change over time.

Now, imagine that you created such precious legacy which is close to you, which defines you, people appreciate it adore it but your next generation is unable to carry it forward. How do you handle such rejections? what is the resolution? Is it good? Is it bad? Is there any way around? As you love your legacy, should you force them to see the value in your legacy? And if you truly love them, should you force them in the first place to carry that legacy?

Studio Ghibli’s recent movie The Boy and the Heron (君たちはどう生きるか, How do you live?) is an attempt to answer one such complicated question on artistic legacy. Hayao Miyazaki-san has again given a masterstroke by creating a very personal yet relatable artistic narrative.

I have tried to explain the overall purpose of the narrative in this movie and will try to uncover what was the real core of movie based on the events in the life of Hayao Miyazaki-san.

The story and the meanings behind it

You will find megatons of explanations on the symbolism, personal connection of Hayao Miyazaki-san, his life, his childhood, his parents, and his colleagues from Studio Ghibli in this movie. There are many theories and cross references between the previous Ghibli movies too. I will not go into those details. I will focus on what the narrative stands as a whole.

It is obvious that it is a story of a boy who lost his mother and his journey of getting over that melancholia of her loss and acceptance of his new mother. You will also notice in the end credits that the creators have thanked a book called “The book of lost things” by John Conolly. Once you check out what this book is all about, I think you will get new perspective beyond the symbolism and references in the movie. Miyasaki leveraged the narrative of this book to create the structure of his narrative. The book also draws inspiration from Genzaburo Yoshino’s book “How Do You Live?” (君たちはどう生きるか, Kimi-tachi wa Dō Ikiru ka)

Two books which inspired ‘The Boy and The Heron’

This is the story of the all emotions that are invoked when a person loses their loved ones. The first question that comes in mind when such loss happens is “How Do You Live?”

This is how the story is built –

The tower created around the rock is a portal where you can physically access your emotions. Just like in Interstellar how Astronaut Cooper was able to physically access the dimension of time.

Birds are representation of the free flying feelings, emotions we have.

The book that the great granduncle left unread is the same book Mahito’s mother read and then it got handed over to Mahito, which is the book called “How do you live?” The book is about the conversations of a boy who lost his father and the boy’s uncle.

The great granduncle already knew that the rock from space can allow him to create the world of his dreams. That is exactly why he built a tower around it for protection. Upon going through the loss of loved person in his life, he saw himself in the role of the person who will lead and help his descendants to handle their own pain of loss. But as the great grand uncle was always into books and had his own internal dreamy world, he used the powers of the rock from space to create his own world.

The act of leaving the book unread to disappearing into something is pointing towards that intense moment when you have to act on things because the author said exactly what you believe in. You feel this urge to act and create that thing because the author, the person who you don’t even know feels exactly the same. You feel an unexplained deep connection.

So, the rock from space and tower built around it is a portal where things can enter and exit in space, time. The moment when Himi lost her mother, she accessed the portal, confronted her emotions but also met her future son Mahito.

She realized that even though she lost her beloved mother, she will have an opportunity to have her own son who will love her deeply. Even when she will not be there with Mahito, her sister will love him equally. This gives her peace. That is exactly why when grannies are telling the story from Himiko’s childhood to Shoichi (Himiko’s husband and Mahito’s father) they say that she was grinning to ears – happy like anything when she came out of the mysterious tower.

The great grand uncle can call anyone to enter the tower. That is why grannies are scared if Mahito gets taken by the tower in the start of the story.

Kiriko has also accessed the portal in the search for young Himi before, that is why her younger version is available in this dreamy world and knows the ways of this world. Her older version entering into the portal along with Mahito closes the loop of time paradox if you think it through.

Natsuko is called into the portal to make young Himi aware that her future son will have a caretaker and lover when she will not be there for him. This helps young Himi to get over her own loss of mother. It’s that feeling of love you create for your people when you realize how deeply you loved the person you lost. You realize that your people also deserve to get the love that you received from your lost loved ones. That brings the person out of the melancholy of the loss of loved ones.

Natsuko is called into the portal to make up her mind that Mahito is also her son. She is also called into the portal to make Mahito accept that his step mother also deserves the same love that he has for his own mother. The great grand uncle is the orchestrater of all these events.

The grey heron is Mahito’s mind personified, his conscience. Heron is always guiding, helping Mahito. Mahito has this feeling that his mother is alive somewhere because he never saw her dead body. Heron attracts, teases Mahito using same understanding. Somewhere in a hidden corner of Mahito’s mind he thinks that there is still a chance to save his mother and bring her back. He is just looking out for an opportunity. Heron teases this opportunity to Mahito.

Heron like every person’s mind is paradoxical in nature. Heron is equivalent of Jiminy Cricket from the story of Pinocchio.

Most of the events between Mahito and the grey heron are Mahito’s dreams until he personally enters the tower where all his emotions can be accessed physically. That is where he is able to get the hold of the Heron, that is where the power of the seventh feather is functional, because Mahito has heightened awareness and access to his emotions.

The illusion of his mother in bed is a reminder to Mahito that she only exists in his dreams not in reality.

The starving Pelicans are the feeling one gets when they realize that they won’t be loved in the ways and to levels they used to before because of the loss of loved ones. These feeling to be loved, the huger to be loved by that person pushes the person to meet his loved one in afterlife. You will see the pelicans pushing Mahito in graveyard so that he can meet his mother. Pelicans are his feelings from the void of love which are pushing him to die to meet his mother in afterlife.  

Kiriko saves Mahito from his urge to die, maybe she has done same to Himi in past too. The mark left on Kiriko’s head by swamp thrasher is intentional creation to make Mahito comfortable. The fact that they both share some common pain brings comfort to Mahito. The thrasher bird is a symbol of self-reflection, it is like upon getting settled and being calm Mahito realizes that dying is not the solution to meet his mother – Himi.

Warawara and the phantoms are the attempts of great grand uncle to show everyone entering this world that life and death are part of existence. The person must accept and will have to support both, feed both to ensure that the reality remains ‘real’.

The event of giving proper burial to the dead severely injured pelican is Mahito’s acceptance to detach himself from the urge to be loved by his dead mother. This is him making amends with death and urge of being loved.

The moment Mahito accepts the weird and paradoxical nature of heron is the moment when he gets a clear direction to meet Natsuko. He literally repairs his conscience to get the clarity.

The Parakeets are the defense system of mind. They are the logical emotions, feelings that we use to defend from the sad feelings, they make sure that the system of our mind remains intact. Parakeets are the indicators of love and colors in life, when we are deeply saddened these emotions of love and colors become intense, defensive to save our mind. Here in the extreme case, they have become so strong, disciplined, and militarized that they are ready to consume their own host – Mahito. Parakeets show life, colors, happiness, anti-sad emotions, and the defense mechanism to create good for everything. That is why they have rules, moral values – the indication of what is allowed and what is not for the betterment of the host. They make sure that the person remains sane by choosing what is best for him instead of getting overwhelmed by all other emotions.

Parakeet king is the ultimate personification of such defense mechanism, he just wants to make sure that the world inside the host’s mind remains intact otherwise the host will go mad, this world will collapse.

The important conflict Mahito must resolve is to find his mother. Where the great grand uncle gives him the test. You should appreciate the role of great grand uncle in this whole narrative. The very first time when Mahito is inside the tower with Kiriko, the great grand uncle could have immediately met him and resolved everything in his mind.

But he makes Mahito to go through whole journey because you cannot force any emotion on the person just by telling the truth. His/ her defense mechanism will strongly and willfully reject that truth. Only when that person will go through personal experience, then only he/ she can appreciate the value of truth. Uncle thus gives Mahito this final test of truth once he overcomes the obstacles in his mind.

Mahito is given the taste of truth by showing him that even though he could not save his mother Himi he can now save another mother Natsuko. This is the Natsuko who enters the portal with a feeling if she would ever truly be able to love Mahito while having her own baby. This is conflict resolution for Natsuko too. She develops true love for Mahito when Mahito lets go of his attachment to mother Himi to save Natsuko because he doesn’t want that to happen again. And Natsuko also realizes that it’s her loving sister’s son in the end who deserves the same love like her coming baby deserves.

Only upon the resolution of this conflict when Mahito gets the access to the portal to meet the great grand uncle. 13 grave stones are the 13 movies created by Hayao Miyazaki-san. Which arranged in many styles create different world. They create an escape to different reality where people can manifest and physically live their dreams. For uncle these 13 gravestones are the purpose of his life, they define who he is and are his legacy. Great grand uncle asking Mahito to arrange these 13 gravestones is Miyazaki-san’s way to order his son Goro-san to carry his legacy in the exact ways Miyazaki-san intended. Mahito noticing the difference between wooden blocks and the gravestones is an indication that his life interests do not lie there, wood here as a part of tree – the life against the gravestones show that this is not how Mahito would live his life.

As a punishment uncle sends Mahito to parakeets. Parakeets are the structured constructs, rule, laws which ensure that the world has order even though the person may hate them. Goro Miyazaki-san chose the career of an architect because he wanted to do something different from his father. Hayao Miyazaki-san asked Goro-san to create artistic movies exactly in his “Ghibli” style but Goro-san’s artistic creations never matched the Hayao Miyazaki-san’s Ghibli vibes. It’s like his creative powers were restricted due to the parakeet like strict construct, high expectations and extreme criticism of Hayao Miyazaki-san. The great grand uncle had some hope that Mahito will accept what he wants him to appreciate.   

Mahito’s own conscience – the Heron comes to rescue him in the end. Grand uncle asks Himi to leave this world and also tells that Mahito should also leave with her. He is hoping that there is one more chance to convince Mahito to take care of what he had created. When Mahito and Himi meet the great grand uncle to bid goodbye the uncle presents Mahito some stone without malice. It is uncle’s attempt to show Mahito that even though his creations have their challenges, rules, restrictions Mahito still has freedom to do anything with these new stones free from Malice. It’s uncle’s attempt to convince Mahito to not lose the grip on the legacy. It is Hayao Miyazaki-san’s desperate way to reconvince his son Goro-san that he just needs to create for the studio Ghibli by using some new things – new experiments but just keep studio Ghibli alive. He wants Goro-san to create so that the world of Ghibli will bring bounty, peace and beauty into people’s lives. It’s not just a selfish request for continuing the legacy. It is a request to maintain the core of his legacy – Miyazaki-san’s legacy.

Mahito responds to great grand uncle by saying that he has his own challenges, his own malice, his own limitations which make it difficult to carry this legacy. Mahito wants to return to his own real world even when it has some darkness, bad things. When uncle asks him that Mahito’s reality is a chaotic world full of murderers and thieves Mahito responds by showing that he has good, caring, and loving people along with the heron – his conscience to support him there.

This is also important moment for Himi where she is relieved that even when her son will lose her, Mahito will have enough support system to take care of him. This is one more reason for young Himi to return happy to her reality.

Uncle then ordering Mahito to just stack the stones for last time would be equivalent of the discussion happened between Hayao Miyazaki-san and Goro-san on the creation of one last project for Miyazaki-san’s peace of mind. Maybe Miyazaki-san just like the great grand uncle wanted to play a trick on Mahito – Goro-san to convince him to continue the legacy.

Finally, the Parakeet king trying to arrange the blocks by himself is the futile attempts of the admirer of great grand uncle’s creation to ensure their own survival. But as there is no personal connect between them, the Parakeet king doesn’t know the ‘art’ of arranging the stones. When the attempt fails and the world collapses as the great grand uncle had already expected, he instructs everyone to leave the tower and return to their respective reality.   

You must appreciate that there would have been a proper intimate discussion between Hayao Miyazaki-san and Goro-san on how to take over this legacy and continue the future of studio Ghibli. Rearrangement of 13 blocks shows advice to use the styles and ideas of Hayao Miyazaki-san’s movies to create further new stories.

The resolution of Mahito returning to reality is Hayao Miyazaki-san’s way to show that the path has already been chosen and good thing is that it is more real than anything possible. It could be ugly, full of malice, murderers, death, grief and detachment but is far better than dreamy and perfect world. Looks like Goro-san successfully convinced his father Hayao Miyazaki-san that his father’s reality of Studio Ghibli is not the only reality, only legacy which deserves to exist. Hayao Miyazaki-san also realized that if he truly loves his son, he would let him go on his own path, to create his own art. Just because he is too attached to his creation does not entitle his son to carry it forward, especially as a burden.

It’s poignant to come to this fact but it is what it is. That also doesn’t stop either Hayao or Goro-san to create the world they want. (there is a rumor that Miyazaki-san is working on his next film.)  

The Curse of the Intangible Value of an Artistic Creation

For any true artist, it is the expression through creation which matters him/ her the most. The art they create is exactly who they are, it is a part of who they are. For such artist who has realized that they will have to leave all this creation behind in the end, search for the true successor who can appreciate their creation is crucial.

And the problem with artistic creation is that they are very intimately connected to the person who created them – the artist. It’s like the bond of a mother and child – she has carried that child for 9 months in her belly, it’s a piece of her body and soul. In similar sense, that art held its root in the artist’s mind and the artist kindled it in his mind to finally bring it into the reality. The fundamental problem with emotions is that you have to pass through those feelings to appreciate them in true sense. You can intellectualize other person’s emotions, write about them, create narratives/ stories out of them. You can make philosophies about how and why people have certain emotions, why they feel sad, happy, melancholic. You can also simulate pain to induce the feelings of emotions in a person, you can simulate happiness by triggering certain chemicals and suppressing others. But, you must accept that unless and until you yourself don’t pass through that real-life emotional experience, you will never be able to appreciate and understand how others felt when they had similar feelings. You can be highly empathetic, sympathetic but they too are bound by the limitations of you own mind. You can be a highly intellectual person who has already figured out what action would lead to what emotion, what is good for your mind, what is bad for you, you may create a whole internal defense system to handle the anticipated emotional responses but the experience you will have when you pass through that emotion will be very personal and the art created after the passage through such emotions cannot be attributed to any tangible value.

Now think of handing over such a creative legacy to you descendants. You are confident about this handover to your children because they are your immediate physical extension and if you are lucky then maybe your immediate mental extension too. But, as I already clarified in previous paragraph about the curse of intangibility, the intangible subjectivity of any artistic creation, there is no guaranty that you descendants will resonate with what you believed that art to represent.

It feels cruel to realize this fact but believe me it is the reality. Others, especially the people you call yours are not entitled to appreciate the things exactly to the levels you appreciate. I agree that they should at least not disrespect it but you can never force other people to appreciate ‘your’ valuable things at your exact same level. This journey has to be made solely by themselves which will never be in your control. You may force them, influence them, punish them- abuse them mentally, physically but you cannot force others to generate the same respect, same value for the things you love. It’s purely an internal and voluntary journey.

That is why having people who resonate with how you appreciate certain common objects and common emotions is a blessing. This also does not mean that people who perceive something different for the same objects are bad. There can be cases where they perceive something even better than what you perceive and where they do not even care but that’s not your fault. In order to find clarity in these cases you have to accept that emotions are double edged sword. It will cut both ways. Even when you have anticipated, planned, intellectualized them, you cannot escape your emotional responses. What you can do is to observe them sincerely and let them pass. You are not your selective emotions; you are above them. Emotions are not your creator rather you are the creator of your emotions. The moment you accept this you will see the truth that not everyone, not even your own blood is bound to experience the life around you in the exact ways you want them to. The moment you will appreciate what I am trying to put down in words, I think you will feel liberated. Please understand that this is not just about any artistic creation, it is about everything you call your life – mental, physical, tangible, intangible. To live a life with this intensity could be a blessing (on personal level if this intensity is not anticipated well in advance or not controlled then it is one cruel curse to carry.)

I think this is exactly what Hayao Miyazaki-san was struggling with. But as the movie resolves I think there is still hope for him, for the studio and in the end for all of us rooting for his next movies. It definitely is not a sad ending and even if it is a sad one we know what great things they made us feel about ourselves, how they gave us better perspectives towards life. I think that his true legacy is all his admirer, we people altogether whose lives he changed through his creation. Even though his movies won’t be there, what they have made us feel – that legacy of having a perspective towards life will keep on affecting new generation through us.   

To be honest, for me it’s a love letter of a father to his son who doesn’t want to follow his father’s legacy and wishes to go on his own journey.       

The Father Son – Hayao Miyazaki and Goro Miyazaki

  • All movie scenes from Studio Ghibli – Hayao Miyazaki’s movie The Boy and the Heron

A Story of the Fly and the Grieving Men

Katherine Mansfield’s short story called ‘The Fly’ shows how the loss of loved ones, especially young men in World War created a deep feeling of grief and loss among the surviving people. On surface the story may portray the melancholy of the loss of young generation but deep down it is the story of how ‘manly’ men always bypass the stage of crying out loud to express that grief. This grief brewing inside men is carried over to next generations in the form of cruelty and oppression.

Katherine Mansfield’s short story The Fly

Loss of the loved ones

Loss of loved ones is one emotion which is very difficult to articulate, express. It is very personal, subjective. Every person is a world in themselves and when such a person is lost a complete world is lost. Now the memories, moments associated with that person is the only real link which remains. It is this sad emotion created where most of us are clueless as to how to fill this void. People express these complex emotions of loss in many ways. Expression, communication is one important part of how we interact with each other and help, support each other during such difficult times. Even though other person’s sadness due to loss of their beloved is difficult to comprehend we know when to support them by understanding their behavior and expression, the way they communicate this grief, the way they behave.

But what about the people who very skillfully hide such sadness of loss of their beloved ones? If a person who is deeply hurt by the loss of their loved ones is not even crying or showing any signs of misery, anguish, hatred how would people console them, how would you console them? Superficially it looks completely non-human behavior as emotions and human are two inseparable words. People having such deep inexpressible grief have different way of coping mechanism which eats them from inside and may also affect the world and people around them negatively unknowingly.

Katherine Mansfield’s short story called “The Fly” focuses on an age-old father’s strong grieving emotion of loss of his beloved son in World War 1. The story is very symbolic and different readers have different takes on the central idea of the story hence the story has become highly important short story in modern times. People attribute the fly to the story of war, death, loss of young generation and the demonstration of cruelty which lead to the loss of innocent young people pushed in such wars who actually had nothing to do with it directly. What this short story delivers in the end is very poignant.

The Fly – The story

The story shows two old friends discussing general events in their life over a whisky. Mr. Woodifield is a person who has suffered a stroke and is retired – delicate health-wise. The Boss – 5 years older than Mr. Woodifield is a rich person handling a big business. The Boss is bragging about the renovation of his office to his friend Mr. Woodifield. Mr. Woodifield is happy that he got to drink the whisky as his wife and daughters would not have allowed him to do so. The Boss is showing him all new carpet, furniture, electric heating system and decoration. While showing this, the Boss has made sure that Mr. Woodifield’s attention would not linger over the photograph of a boy in the uniform. (Later readers understand that the it is the photograph of the Boss’s son who died in a war six years ago) Feels like even the Boss is purposefully ignoring his late son’s photo.

In the heat of discussions and drinks Mr. Woodifield brings the topic of his daughters’ visit to the World war soldiers’ cemetery in Belgium. He tells the Boss that his son and the Boss’s son both are buried quite closer to each other. Mr. Woodifield expresses a happiness of relief as expressed by his girls that at least the places where these sons are buried are well maintained, full of flowers and have broad path. It is way of saying that they were resting in peace.

The readers are made aware that the Boss had planned and made every effort to handover his big business to his son. He was very proud of how his son was capable to continue his legacy and his son was also appreciated among his business people. But the war snatched his son away and all his dreams shattered.

The moment the Boss hears the information about his son’s burial place he gets disturbed internally, as if he has lost the track of his surroundings. And before coming back to the reality Mr. Woodifield has already left the office. Now the Boss is alone in his cabin, he tries to express his grief which he had dumped deep below but is surprised that he couldn’t shed single tear.

In this moment the Boss sees a fly trying to escape from the pond of ink bottle kept on his table. The fly is trying hard to escape from the slippery bottle but is failing repeatedly. The Boss picked up the struggling fly with a pen and put it in the blotting paper. He sees the fly making efforts to dry itself to fly away and at this exact moment he becomes curious about the fly’s attempt to remain alive. He drops an ink-drop on the fly just to see what the fly does next. The fly doesn’t stop its efforts and tries to dry itself and fly away. As the boss goes to drop the third ink-drop while ordering the fly like a military officer to “Look sharp!” the fly gives up and dies.    

The moment boss throws away this dead fly out of window he feels a deep void in himself but soon overcomes that feeling and orders his assistant to bring more blotting paper like a military general. The old assistant is confused about this extreme change in the behavior of the Boss.

Things War Offers

Katherine Mansfield – the writer of this short story lost her brother in World War 1. This loss of her brother is supposed to be the main inspiration behind her short story ‘The Fly’. The readers will notice that Mr. Woodifield’s stroke can be attributed to the shock due to loss of his son in the war. He is not shown openly verbal about his loss but the internal grief became so dark that it took toll over his physical condition. The highly ambitious Boss looking forward to introduce his son to his business also lost his son. Katherine has incorporated the characters in story very consciously. There are no young characters who are alive in the story except Mr. Woodifield’s daughters. Even the assistant to the Boss – the office messenger – Mr. Macey is portrayed as a grey-haired old person.

Thus, it is a way to show what was left after the World War ended. The youth was lost. Only helpless mothers and daughters, sisters and age-old fathers were left grieving for the loss of their love sons, brothers.  

The war may offer the victory and pride to the nation but it snatches the youth of the nation and the hope for the better future. It also takes away the meaning from the lives of its age-old population.

Readers will notice that Mr. Woodifield describes the grave of the soldiers in Belgian war cemetery having graves lines in “miles”. It shows the scale on which World war wiped out the youth.

The Struggles of The Fly – How Wars Destroy Invaluable Lives

Many readers and analyzers of the story attribute the struggle of the fly to escape from the ink-pot and ink-drop to the struggle of the Boss’s son in the world war. The Boss’s perspective for how his son suffered is representative of all the young soldiers died in the war. War leaders lifted these soldiers from one slippery pit and threw them to another one, while the bombs were continuously bombarded on them until they eventually died on the battlefields. The struggles of the fly to dry itself and escape are the struggle of the young soldiers on the battlefield.  

Real Men Don’t Cry – How Men Cope with Melancholy and Deep Feelings of Grief

On a first reading, everyone will understand that Katherine Mansfield tried to convey the concepts of friendship, loss of loved ones, dangers of wars through the short story The Fly.

 Another most important and least noticed dimension of this story is how men handle their emotions of sadness. Trust me the Fly is not just about the dangers of the War. It is also about how men always suppress their sad emotions just to portray their masculinity to the outside world and how these suppressed emotions get transferred onto the next person, object or entity as a completely cruel and oppressive behavior.

If your read the story twice, thrice and notice the gaps in the conversations between Mr. Woodifield and the Boss and the actions, expressions they are portraying in these gaps, then you will start to perceive the inner turmoil these two people carry in themselves for their deep melancholy.

Mr. Woodifield has already suffered a stroke which is the effect of him being unable to share his grief from the loss of his son. As the only remaining man of the family now, he should demonstrate strength to the society and his family. Crying out loud is not the solution, thus his is getting eaten from inside with his old age.

To portray that he has come out the grief of the loss of his son Reggie, Mr. Woodifield explains the visit of his girls to the Belgian War Cemetery like it was just a simple visit to some normal location in foreign. As if there was nothing special about it. Furthermore, to mask his grief he describes this graveyard as full of flowers and spacious. He is trying to tell the Boss that at least in afterlife their sons are in good place and closer to each other, but he is actually trying to console himself unknowingly. It is his mind that he wants to assure that his son is resting in peace.

You will notice the depth of his grief when Mr. Woodifield immediately changes this topic of War cemetery to the topic of high costs for a pot of jam in Belgium where his girls were staying during their visit.

Many men use same technique of instantly changing topic in the fear that the grief will break out in some way which others may take as a weakness. Trust me, men are masters of such drifts in their conversation especially in a man to man or friend to friend-to-friend conversations. Very rarely male friends will share the problems or feelings of grief with each other. They will talk about the whole world but not explicitly about their sadness. I think Katherine succeeded in portraying these minuscule yet significantly impactful but unnoticed behavior of men. A tornado is always building up in such grievous men but they are masters of hiding that too. No wonder people are surprised when they hear a lively and happy man taking his own life, who is later revealed to be very depressed.

The Boss’s handles his grief in totally opposite way. We see him as more powerful and influential than Mr. Woodifield and he thinks the same about himself too. You should notice that the event when he is showing the renovation of his office to Mr. Woodifield is the moment which he had planned for his son actually. The carpet, the furniture and the electric heater were all for his son. He purposefully ignored his dead son’s photograph during conversations. He was trying to hide the reality that his son died and renovating the office was one way to get closer to this illusion that his son lives. The illusion that at any moment his son will return to this renovated office and take over his father’s business. This breaks my heart. In a corner of his heart, the Boss knew that his son will never return but he still renovated the place in a hope of return. No wonder they say that hope is a dangerous thing.

The boss is so used to hiding his feeling and vent it out through crying. You can see this in the moment just after Mr. Woodifield leaves the office, when the Boss tries to cry but is unable to shed a tear.

The use of exclusively accessible whisky for enjoyment with his friend Mr. Woodifield is also a masking mechanism, a distraction cleverly used by the Boss to portray that nothing has affected him. Men will resort to infinitely many distractions than to explicitly express their sadness just to show that they are manly men.

The Brewing of the Inner Dark Storm

As the name of the story is ‘The Fly’ many think that the pivot of the story is how the Fly underwent death as the representation of how young people died in war and how their relatives got badly affected because of that. I have additional input on this point. The pivot of the story is the Boss. The death of the fly is just what he wants to happen with the other people around him as a helpless revenge for the loss of his son. What Katherine showed in the closing encounters between the Boss and the Fly are actually the depictions of how the suppressed and hidden grief, melancholy, depression in men actually gets projected out as a behavior of inhumane cruelty and unjustified- unending anger, anguish. They will never cry and release this grief but would choose cruelty to channel this anguish. That is how every war in history created new generation full of people hating each other. People especially men are really bad about sharing their sadness, feelings of grief and in many such cases they choose violence to channel out these feelings.

The way the Boss orders the fly like a military officer like “Look Sharp” or “Come on” is not addressed to the fly or not even as the reminiscence of how his son was ordered to fight in war while death dropping on him; actually, it is addressed to himself to remain composed while hiding his pain. The death of the fly here is not the representation of how his son died, it is actually how a part of the Boss himself has died – it is the death of the emotional and humane side of the Boss.

When men find it difficult to channel their grief into an emotional outburst, history has examples where we have seen them choosing the side of anger, cruelty and oppression.

Please understand that there are three different destinations where such grievous men end into. The first are already helpless so the grief eat them from inside, the second one and the majority choose the cruelty for expression and the third but very few succeed in expressing such emotions without guilt and receive help from the outside world.  

Melancholy in Men

Sadness is one important aspect of human emotions. In very crude way, sadness is an emotion expressed when things are not working according to one’s expectations. The word simply goes as ‘sad’ but the emotions which it represents are not that simple, crude actually. There are many reasons for a person to be sad and I see two different types of this emotion. When things are not happening up to your expectations, you become sad; you are sad that its not happening for you – I will call it “a selfish sadness”. You are sad because you didn’t win, you are sad because you lost that train and now, you’ll be late to your destination.

The second type is the sadness you have when the things don’t happen for the people you love, when the people you love are sad. You are sad because your people are sad. You want them to be happy. This sadness I would call as “a selfless sadness”.

A selfish sadness starts and ends with you so it is always in your control to get over this sadness. But, for selfless sadness the situation is tricky. It starts from you and it is always connected to the people you love, outside of you. When things are not in your control in such cases this type of sadness is deepest and the darkest one. Exposure to such selfless sadness in addition to the grief from the loss of loved one is a dangerous combination.

Katherine Mansfield, despite being a woman portrayed the details of how ‘manly’ men try to cope with the loss of their loved ones. They either succumb to the dark feeling and give up or they channel this extreme sadness into aggression and oppression of the weaklings, very few men successfully share their feelings and come out of it.

For me the condition of the fly is exactly how the world will be – oppressed and full of hatred if men won’t cry when they are grieving.  

Source for reading:

The Fly by Katherine Mansfield

Bedshaped by Keane – On Yearning, Melancholia and Intimacy

We are really great at understanding our happy, feel-good emotions and we are masters of enjoying such emotions but when it comes to the negative, grievous, melancholic emotions we fail to acknowledge them. Sad moments involving the loss of loved ones are incomparable to anything, anyone in the world. But awareness, acknowledgement, acceptance of such emotions can surely help one to justify meanings to their lives in newer ways.

The song – Bedshaped

Sometimes words fail to pinpoint the emotions one is going through where poetry and music are proven to be the strongest tools. Loss of the loved ones is one such feeling which is purely subjective thus is difficult to generalize. The melancholy from the loss of an intimate person, the feeling of a big void in existence and the irreplaceability of that person are such emotions that are very difficult to trade with other things. A song called “Bedshaped” written by Keane taps into such types of emotions.

“Bedshaped” is a song by English rock band Keane, released as the third single from Hopes and Fears. It became their third consecutive top-10 hit on the UK Singles Chart, after “Somewhere Only We Know” and “Everybody’s Changing”, peaking at number 10. The song also reached the top 20 in Denmark and the Netherlands.

For oversimplification, although not recommended for such a fine piece of art – this song highlights how we are always looking for that emotional pivot in our life and what happens when one loses that pivot. 

The Lyrics

The lyrics is written by James Keith Warnock Sanger / Richard David Hughes / Thomas Oliver Chaplin / Timothy James Rice-Oxley © CTM Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group

Many's the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of our old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether

The poet is reminiscing the days he has spent with the person he is missing right now. He wants to remind this person that he misses that they lived those day together to the fullest and in such a way that every new day was a new life, everyday brought something new with it. These memories are not limited to the liveliness of the experiences from each days start only. They are also connected to how those moments disappeared at the end of those days. Whatever the days were, they both were together to witness those moments. This remembrance by the poet shows his longing for that special person – man or woman whoever they were. It is about a vacuum created by the loss of this important person.

Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

The poet is scared that there is no one left who can understand his state of mind. Now that there is no person left who were closer to him, intimate with him, who could care for him – he fears that the world will make fun of his confusion, directionless condition. The poet pleading to not be laughed at, not be ignored indicates that he is aware of the bad condition which he is going through but is helpless as nobody closer to him now exists.

The poet has become so self-judgmental that he has surety of people making fun of him instead of consoling him for the loss. One must understand why the poet has this innate fear and strong surety for the reaction of world for his loss; it is because he knows that the person he lost only and truly knew his personality – rest of the world will draw some conclusions instead of understanding the reasons behind his behavior.

One may call this emotion as the feeling of self-loathing because there is no one left for the person to reflect on the emotions of loss he is going through. The person has started to hate himself.

But there is some hope!

You'll follow me back with the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bed shaped
In legs of stone
You'll knock on my door and up we'll go
In white light

The poet is so much consumed by the feelings of loss that he expects that this lost person or here we can say his spirit will come back to retrieve our poet to the after-world where they can coexist. “Bedshaped” indicates that this loss has made the poet so sick, immobile that the bed on which he is lying has become an extension of his body. The “legs of stone” indicate the disinterest poet has developed. He does not want to go anywhere. One must understand that this was the same person – the poet who had lived every day as new life with his beloved and now lost person. These are the feelings of depression due to the loss of the loved ones, but the poet hopes that their spirit may come back to rescue him.

I don't think so
But what do I know
What do I know

The poet expects that the strong bond of love may truly help him to recover from this loss but he is now so lonely that there is this uncertainty that this might not actually happen. The poet now moves on the boundaries of reality and illusions.

I know you think I'm holding you down
And I've fallen by the wayside now
And I don't understand the same things as you
But I do

This explains how the presence of a having loved one, and intimacy with such person can boost the self-esteem, confidence rather the whole personality of that person.

Now that the poet has lost such loved ones, he knows that he may not be the same confident person he was before. This makes him feel that he is not worthy of what that person made him. This feeling of becoming worthless again points to the emotions of self-loathing.

Now you should also understand that the poet is somewhat aware of what is actually going wrong an has this urge to recover from all this grief. He still bears the hope to come out of this alive but there is very fine line between the meaninglessness of his life and mere survival.

The Video

The video is stop motion animation directed by Corin Hardy. Which itself is fine piece of art.

The story conveyed in the video of the song actually deepens the meaning behind the song and amplifies the mixed emotions of grief, loss, self-humiliation, meaninglessness and most importantly the hope for liberation.

The video shows some short events in the day of a roadside naked drunkard who has lost the sense of his surroundings.

He misses the company of person he loved, the only person who truly understood him. He is miserable to pass this life on his own and alone.   

We can be sure of this meaning because the rest of the world is completely hostile environment for him now. He is running away from people. Hiding himself.

Running away from the people, he grieves in a restroom. The restroom here indicates the privacy he has, the shelter of some comfort with his intimate thoughts and the memories of his loved ones. We metaphorically, are inside his mind where he is trying to understand this loneliness. He wants to recover from this misery and feel liberated. Hope is the only thing that he relies on, hence we see him contemplating his ideas in this restroom.

The thoughts written on the wall indicate the chaos, the confusion that person has in his mind as he has no close person to show the direction, the ways. The isolation in the restroom with his thoughts with his degraded condition indicates the urge to find someone who truly cares for him and the meaninglessness in life created by the loss of the loved ones. 

You will notice that a cat brings him clothes from somewhere which somewhat lifts him up and that is also why he gathers the courage to revisit the world and blend in with the people in it. He tries to free his mind by letting go off the thoughts of misery.

Imagine what could have happened if a person would have given him the clothes instead of the cat. If a person would have offered him the clothes, then the chances for his recovery from grief would have been extremely high. Simple support from a non-human being gave him the hope to come out of his grief. Which is powerfully conveyed in the music video.

When this guy wears the clothes and tries to face the world, tries to vacate his mind the stares of unknown people again haunt him thereby pushing him again into his now chaotic and directionless mind.

This shows how sensitive a person is when he is facing the loss of his loved ones. The urge for the longing of the person who can truly understand you is strong in most of the people and there is nothing wrong in it.

Closing remarks

In the end of the music video, you will see the restroom the private room getting shattered and penetrated by ‘the white light’ this person was longing for. He is finally liberated. The song thus leaves at poignant and melancholic note where we are left to find out whether that liberation was his death or him losing all the control over his mind.

I would ask what’s the difference between them anyways? Does that difference really matter?

Longing for intimacy

Human beings are social animals not because they form some groups for mutual benefits so that everyone can survive, grow, prosper and leave something extra for the upcoming generations. A person cannot become aware about his existence without interacting with his surroundings. The crude awareness comes from the interaction with the materialistic things around the person but the core awareness of a person’s existence comes from their interactions with the people around them. That is why I think human beings are called social animals. We always assign our own value, our own worth (physical, financial, psychological, intellectual etc.,) relative to the things and people around us.  

It is also true that absolutely nothing is required to understand the existence of one’s being but that is only possible when one has understood what is means to exist relative to the things in their surroundings. You can say that the person who has achieved the topmost levels of spirituality won’t need anything to define themselves thereby becoming truly liberated, they are free from longing for anything but even these people have to go through the event of understanding their meaning for the existence through the relativity with the surrounding objects and most importantly people.

So, in every sense we as a human being always need some person with whom we can comfortably compare our worth – please understand that this comparison is not for competitiveness. Because when a person is actually seeking the meaning behind their existence – the words like competition, race and superiority have microscopic worth as if they don’t even exist. When the person understands where they actually stand with respect to this person then it justifies the purpose, the meaning of their being. This person becomes their pivot for the life lying ahead.

As the quote goes:

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzu

Actually, it is not the power of love, it is the influence of having someone to justify our existence which brings out the best of the person. And who doesn’t want to be their best version? That is why love and its influence are powerful for human beings as social animals.

This is where intimacy comes in picture

Please note that intimacy is not limited to what lies between two people madly in love and neither is it limited to physical one. It can exist between two best friends, between a teacher and his pupil, between a manager and his subordinate, between an old grandpa and a young boy who are not actually related. Some people may call them soulmates and in most cases these relations are far from the blood relations although such intimate relations are possible in blood relations too. Also, understand that the intimacy can also be limited the self only but general examples are uncommon.

In very simple words, intimacy is that place of comfort where the person can be who they are without any judgements, benchmarks, and comparisons (although the basic logic emerges from relative comparison but it is not a competitive comparison. This is like the comparison where one realizes the similarity and differences in constructive ways)

So, when a person loses such intimate person in their lives the whole pivot of life, the center of the meaningfulness of their life gets destroyed which brings this existential crisis, the chaotic void, the unfilled vacuum. This loss of person and the feelings which come after that loss are difficult to express to everyone as intimacy can never be generalized.

In the first place, even before finding their intimate person people are always searching for their ‘go to’ person, they long for such person. Now you must understand how one feels when they lose such person they already have; being alive without their person is already a burden for them.

This might be my overthinking on a good song which just expresses how one feels when they lose their loved ones and how they consider their life completely meaningless in such cases. As the ability of words to express the exact emotions is practically limited and very subjective; whatever I have written may be meaningless to many and meaningful to a few or no one.

I think we are very great at understanding our happy, feel-good emotions and we are masters of enjoying such emotions but when it comes to the negative, grievous, melancholic emotions we fail to acknowledge them many times. I understand that such very intimate and highly personal losses are incomparable to anything, anyone in the world but awareness, acknowledgement of such emotions surely helps the person to justify meanings to their lives in newer ways because life itself represents boundless ocean of opportunities/ possibilities. Who knows someone might be needing exactly the same person you are. That surely will help the both sides. And that truly justifies we – the human beings as social animals (in a way). That is why songs expressing such emotions are very important.