Tag: Jordan Peterson

Motivation and Fulfillment – Sailing Through The OCEAN of Life for Self-Actualization

Abraham Maslow’s ideas of the hierarchy of needs lost its essence due to oversimplification into the famous pyramid of needs. Those who lacked happiness in their lives will prefer to be happy by trading all valuable objects they have, whereas those who never possessed basic things for survival will endure endless pain to get them. This creates a paradox of life. What was lost through Maslow’s pyramid came back into limelight due to modern theories in psychology like the Cybernetic Big Five Theory and Sail-Boat Model. They highlight a very important fact that stability and plasticity both are necessary for a person to become whole – a complete human being.

Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ for The Modern World

Psychology ~ Study of mental!?!

A big part of psychology is always associated with the mental disorders – a negative aspect of human psyche. It is a common (mis)conception that students of psychology largely associate themselves with the studies and treatments of such mental people. Maybe it is our human tendency (a defensive tendency) to get immediately attracted to negative aspects immediately which creates such conception about psychology. This is not limited to only psychology; it is applicable to everything we have initial opinions about. But this is not true, we are seeing only a half part of the psychology. The other half and the positive part – is more helpful to live a better life.

Talking about good and bad part of human psyche – where would you put a selfish person? For the sake of classification, a selfish person is the one who prioritizes himself/herself first when it comes to anything. He/ she would think of themselves first, for their own benefit first to make the best out of the circumstances. Isn’t that bad?

How could it be bad if survival is the only option in front of such people? Then the roles reverse immediately. When it comes down to survival of a person every virtue falls down. If a person did something for their own betterment and jeopardized others in the process, will they be called selfish? Now the answer to this question becomes subjective and quite tricky. Were the others evil? If yes, then being selfish for self-benefit by belittling the evil others makes you a hero. If the others were good then being selfish makes you the evil one. So, is selfishness subjective?

We will find the answers to this question soon in upcoming parts.

Have you ever felt that feeling of void after achieving something great you’ve been striving for? Have you felt that emotion of not being repaid for the many good you did for others? Have you felt jealous for that simpleton who while being less competent than you got more recognition? Have you felt bad for people who devoted all their life for the betterment of society got disrespected by the society? Do you think that the modern definition of love is closer to formal transaction of things, physical acts and emotions?

Do our answers to all the questions above in a “Yes” mean that we are bad humans?

This is exactly the part where the positive aspect of psychology plays a crucial role.

Humanistic Psychology – What Makes Someone “A Whole Human”?

The humanistic psychology popularized by the ideas of an American Psychologist Abraham Maslow is also coined as the third force in psychology. (After Freud’s Psychoanalysis and Skinner’s Behaviorism)

“It is as if Sigmund Freud supplied us the sick half of psychology and now, we must fill is out with healthy half.”

-Abraham Maslow

So, simply put, Maslow asked opposite question about human psyche. What if things go right? What happens when a human mind is completely healthy? What changes can be seen in a healthy human psyche?  What are the characteristics of “a whole human”?

The ideas of humanistic psychology hence bring one spiritual aspect in the understanding of the human psyche. Maslow’s ideas from the Theory of Motivation show us that psychology is also about what good is in humans and how everyone can achieve it.

Self-Actualization – The Classical View on Being the Best Version of You

In 1938 Abraham Maslow spent six weeks with Siksika Blackfoot, the first nation (Indigenous people) in Alberta, Canada. Maslow was trying to understand the social hierarchy and dominance within these people and surprisingly he found something totally different. Siksika people ever fought for dominance or power, the definition of wealth for Siksika was sharing – the more you share the wealthier you are, children were treated same as the adults were – they had chance to put their own opinion in front of others, Siksika people were highly cooperative. Instead of a single dominant person forcing others for power, the Siksika Blackfoot society left no one behind. Even the people who committed wrong work had option to lose that attitude and join back. It was like the Siksika were highly aware of how one should behave for the betterment of everyone without compromising the personal well-being. Maslow realized that this is the highest form of being a human being.

Maslow understood that if certain basic criterion, basic needs are fulfilled for every human being, then they can immediately strive for self-betterment and also for the betterment of society. They will not exploit society for their personal betterment. Such person would be a person who has achieved self-realization where he/ she knows what is good for him/ her and how they can benefit others in the process.       

So, Maslow’s Theory of Motivation talks about achieving human potential to it’s fullest. How we can bring about the best of ourselves which will satisfy us and will also benefit others around us thereby uplifting the whole society. This theory of motivation struck hard against the individualistic ideas which were strong in capitalist America.    

The (Controversial) Pyramid

We all would have seen the famous pyramid of needs in certain forms somewhere. This pyramid is known to represent Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Although the concept of hierarchy of needs is originated from Abraham Maslow, the pyramid was never drawn by him. A consulting psychologist Charles McDermid came up with this pyramid to oversimplify Maslow’s ideas and this is where the core of Theory of Motivation was lost.

Oversimplification of Maslow’s theory caused the loss of its very fundamental ideas

Theory of Motivation and Self-Actualization

According to this theory, humans need an integrated hierarchy where basic survival needs must be satisfied to realize their full potential – to become a self-actualized being.

Theory of motivation deals with what motivates people to achieve certain goal or expected outcome. The most primary theory here is Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs.

Maslow attributed 5 hierarchies for the any person to achieve their full potential:

  1. Physiological needs – Things required for survival like air, water, food, clothing, and shelter
  2. Safety needs – personal protection from surrounding hostile conditions, a safe society, secure job/ income, health
  3. Belonging needs – people who appreciate your presence in their lives, love, friendship, companionship, sense of connection/ belonging
  4. Esteem needs – respect, loyalty, status, recognition
  5. Self-actualization – the ability to reach the highest potential

Before moving on with the discussion with these hierarchy it is very important that Maslow never intended these to be linear. The mistranslation of the concept of hierarchy into pyramid lost the whole basics of Maslow’s theory of motivation. Maslow always clarified that these are not sequential.

Maslow’s classified the first four needs namely physiological, safety, belonging, and esteem as the existential motivators. These are the necessities for a person to exist in this world and are completely dependent upon external factors.

The last need for self-actualization is completely intrinsic motivator. Unless and until you feel that drive to understand the purpose of you your being, you won’t reach the stage of self-realization. The person who has satisfied all first four but not the self-actualization will feel directionless even after achieving what he/ she desired. That is exactly why doing things to prove your worth to the world mostly ends in existential confusion, such people question the void which is created after achieving everything they wanted.

That is why inner motivation is important for bringing out the best of you. So, the last need namely Self-actualization is attributed as the intrinsic motivator. This intrinsic urge will drive the person to make the sense of his/ her conditions improve further.

In this further improvement the person achieves self-transcendence. This is the purest form of the happiness. Spirituality calls it the enlightenment.

The Characteristics of Self-Actualizers

It is very important to reiterate that Maslow never intended the hierarchy of needs to be linear and always clarified that you can work of these needs simultaneously. It is not like leveling up in a game one by one. The more you satisfy lower needs, the more you are concerned with the higher needs.

Maslow’s studied such people who have achieved self-realization and found some special common traits. Some of them are listed below:

  1. They have high level humor – Low level humor is when you belittle others to create laughter. The self-actualizers will make fun of themselves to create this laughter.
  2. Self-realizers have high sense of reality – Self realizers exhibit a healthy self-esteem. A person with toxic self-esteem will feel jealous for other people’s success. They feel entitled as they were the worthier than others. But the self-actualizers appreciate other people’s success and befriend them to learn the ways to succeed.
  3. Continuous appreciation – Self-realizers are able to find joy in even the routine tasks, mundane activities. Even though they are excited for something new and challenging they equally value the mundane-ness of the events in life. It is because they carry highest sense of gratitude for everything.
  4. Problem centered – Self-actualizers understand that whatever mission they have whatever purpose they have to fulfill must always lie beyond themselves and consider the big picture and long-term vision. They are aware that once the goal is achieved, they will get exposed to that existential confusion, once you have higher and wider sense of goal it is very rare that you will end up in existential angst. These types of people are not building an empire to become billionaire, they are on a mission to contribute to the world. Most importantly this urge to contribute to the society is not to make themselves feel worthy, it is because they understand that it is what the world desperately needs. Thus, self-actualizers select their goals in such ways so that they strengthen the personal skills and contribute to the betterment of the society simultaneously.
  5. Self-realizers enjoy privacy – Solitude resonates more with such people than loneliness.
  6. Self-realizers demonstrate these values: Wholeness, perfection, completion, justice, effortlessness, aliveness, richness, simplicity, beauty, self-sufficiency, goodness, uniqueness, order, playfulness, truth
  7. Self-realizers are accepting towards oneself and others – they know that a perfect human is not the one without flaws. They understand that imperfections, sadness, grief, jealousy are also important aspect of being a human and thus try to uplift others going through same conditions instead of belittling them.
  8. Self-actualizers are more spontaneous and strive to become more natural
  9. Self-actualizers intensely look out for autonomy. It’s like micromanaging will kill their motivation to do the task.
  10. Self-actualizers have more profound relationships. The relationships are not transactional.
  11. Self-actualizers have high sense of Gemeinschaftsgefühl – meaning heightened sense of being connected to humanity.
  12. Self-actualizers always strive to create win-win situations. That is exactly what helps them to find the goals which will benefit them personally and also the society on grand scale.
  13. Self-actualizers have peak experiences. Self-actualizers are not always happy (otherwise one would surely attribute such people mental!) Instead of remaining happy with everything irrespective of is valence – intensity, self-actualizers have these small moments which make them appreciate their purpose on even higher level. They are not always drenched in the rains of happiness instead a small shower of joy elevates their sense of purposeful existence.

After going through such detailed characteristics explained by Maslow, it is tempting to ask one question. Do Self-actualizers settle for what they are given?

Self-actualization is a journey

What majorly got lost in translation due to the creation of this controversial pyramid of hierarchy of needs was Maslow’s attribution to continuous improvement in Self-actualizers.

“It is not a state of being but a process, It’s a direction, not destination. This process won’t always bring the feelings of happiness, contentment, and bliss, and it may even sometimes cause pain and heartache. It’s not for the “faint-hearted”. It requires continually stretching outside your comfort zone. It takes a lot of courage to be the best version of yourself.”           

This is the part where the theory of motivation truly becomes humanistic. That is exactly what I love about self-actualization. It is not creating a paradise free from suffering, rather it accepts the presence of negative ideas of humanity at the same level as positive ideas. That is what makes us a complete human. It is sad that in general understanding we miss this part of the theory of motivation.

Maslow’s theory of motivation for the modern world

Scott Barry Kaufman – an American psychologist conducted an experiment to fit Maslow’s theory of motivation which is more relevant in this modern world and also doesn’t mistranslate the original theory during oversimplification. I would say it is not oversimplification of the theory of motivation rather it augments the same theory to remain more relevant in modern times.  

Scott Kaufman in his famous paper discusses that the as Abraham Maslow’s ideas go, the lack of satisfaction motivates people to fill that existential i.e., external, and emotional i.e., intrinsic deficiency. This deficiency is primarily about physical existence and then about mental/ emotional existence. It can also be deficient in both aspects (external and internal simultaneously). The people who lack motivation are also very defensive when they feel danger to their basic needs – survival needs.

Scott explains that motivated people are driven more by exploration, creativity and love not for themselves but also for the humankind.

The Cybernetic Big Five Theory

Scott Kaufman bridged the concepts of cybernetic big five theory with the characteristics of self-actualized human beings as explained by Abraham Maslow through an experiment consisting of a psychrometric test. (A psychrometric test is a questionnaire to assess intelligence, abilities, potential and personality.)

The big five theory of cybernetics identifies five factors which helps to define the person’s overall personality. Cybernetics here indicates the study of systems which work with a feedback loop. After all motivation is a type of feedback loop. Any mechanism which changes its response based on the outcome can be studied under cybernetics. So, the cybernetic system we are interested here are human beings. There are five factors which indicate the major habits – traits of the person. The varying contribution from each attribute can help us to understand what motivates, influences the given person and how his/ her life can be improved.

Following are the big five:

  1. Openness to experiences – as the words themselves explains – it’s the way – the trait in which one accepts or molds/ changes to the new experiences. The more open one is to experiences the less they are susceptible to mental disorder
  2. Conscientiousness – it is the ability to care, to take things/ consequences seriously, being diligent. More conscientious a person is more he/ she is reliable; extremes would be attribute to workaholics, perfectionists.   
  3. Extraversion/ Extroversion – is related to how a person draws energy to exist. Introverts feel energetic in solitude whereas extroverts seek company to feel energetic. This is inspired from Carl Jung’s ideas.
  4. Agreeableness – it measures how considerate you are. People with low agreeableness are selfish, people with high agreeableness are kinder, sympathetic.
  5. Neuroticism – is related to how one handles negative emotions and stress. More neurotic a person more negatively they behave.

This theory is also commonly known as the OCEAN theory. But, why did we try to understand the cybernetic big five theory? What motivates people is immediately related to how people behave and what are their “traits”; So, understanding the OCEAN aspects of the personality creates a model where you can understand what motivates them.

The Metatraits – Bridging the Classical and Modern Theory of Motivation

Scott Kaufman linked the big five facets of human personality to Maslow’s theory of motivation through the bridge of Metatraits.

The five facets of human psyche – the five traits namely Openness to experiences, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism can be grouped into two major categories. One is Stability and the another is Plasticity.

Stability is defined through the contributions from traits of Neuroticism, Agreeableness, and Conscientiousness.

Plasticity is defined through the contributions from the traits of Openness to experiences and Extraversion.

The personality trait hierarchy
(Source: Cybernetic Big Five Theory, Colin G. DeYoung, 2014, Journal of Research in Personality)

Now, the magic starts happening.           

It’s Not A Pyramid, Rather It’s A Sail Boat

Remember that the theory of motivation had two aspects. One is the security, safety and the another one is sense of existence, meaning.

Scott Kaufman through his experiment clarified almost all aspects of Maslow’s theory of motivation. Unlike the popular mistranslated pyramidal structure of hierarchy of needs, Scott smartly utilized the fundamental idea of simultaneity of all needs into his new model. According to Scott Kaufmanns model the hierarchy of need is best represented by the Sail Boat.

Scott Barry Kaufman’s Sail Boat Model of Self Actualization

It is very wonderful to appreciate what this Sail Boat model communicates. Its beauty is that is brings the lost ideas from the classical theory of motivation into limelight and at the same time it removes that false linearity from the hierarchy. The word ‘hierarchy’ reflects that interdependence and complementary nature of the needs. The more you satisfy the lower needs, the more you will try to fulfill the higher need.

Scott presents that we are never leveling up from one need to higher one, rather we are trying to fulfill every type of need to certain extent simultaneously. Once we fill like certain need is fulfilled to a safer extent, we can fulfill other multiple need simultaneously.

We are continuously changing our needs based on the experiences we have while fulfilling other needs. Once you achieve certain goal in your life you may feel the need to upgrade you living standards, social status. If you get one life changing spiritual experience you may feel to downgrade your living standards because you feel that this is materialistic obsession.

Scotts Sail Boat model thus can be represented as follows:

The Boat is the security aspect necessary for the survival of a person. It is both physiological and psychological. Safety, Connection and Self-esteem create the boat; once you fulfill these aspects your life will be secured, your physical existence is guaranteed but this will not fill the spiritual existential void, the urge for purpose and meaning in you. You will have to attach a sail of being open to uncertainty, daring to love, daring to find the purpose which will drive that boat into the “OCEAN” of the life. (Look what I did their, actually this is how Scott explains it, you get it!)

Having a boat with holes – the lack of safety, connections, and self esteem will surely jeopardize your materialistic existence. After that having only a boat – fulfillment of safety, connections and self-esteem will give you proper survival. But only survival will instantly demotivate you to even live. Its like a boat which has taken halt, has no purpose and may collapse when a big wave collapses. Basic fulfillment of survival need does not guaranty long term sustenance, any big challenge in life, any negative event will tear down this boat of existence into pieces. You must appreciate that the boat here indicates the metatrait of stability which is supposed to the rigid trait of the personality, rigid int terms of the fundamental support to the whole being.

In order to handle the challenges, the big collapsing waves one need to explore the OCEAN, the challenges for that the motivation will be drawn from the openness to new experiences, learnability, curiosity. This learnability, urge for growth is attributed to the sails of the boat. The sails will ensure that you will move faster when you sense collapsing waves, sails will ensure that your boat will reach the destinations you want, sails will ensure that you have the goal, the purpose, the meaning to your existence. Thus, the sails represent the metatrait of Plasticity.

You must understand that Stability metatrait is how you fulfill your deficiencies in the fundamental needs for existence whereas Plasticity metatrait is about how you make sense of what existence you have established.

How strongly you will live is defined by stability, it is about how you protect your goals, its is about how you handle your impulses, how you strategize and understand the events to remain stable.

How purposeful, focused you will remain will be defined by plasticity. What new goals you create, how you learn new things to achieve these goals, hoe you strategize you r actions to demonstrate understanding, create meaning is what plasticity is.

Conclusion

Life, our existence is always proven to be filled with paradoxes and contradictions. You will see a smiling beggar lying on the roadside – begging for the food of one time and you will also see a billionaire crying in his Lamborghini because he/she lost their loved ones. Different people will weigh out these events based on what type of life they were exposed to. Those who lacked happiness in their lives will prefer to be happy by trading all valuable objects they have, whereas those who never possessed basic things for survival will endure endless pain to get them. These types of paradoxical lives are the origins to a completely different world view and most importantly what motivates human beings.

What was lost through Maslow’s pyramid of hierarchy of needs came back into limelight due to modern theories in psychology like the Cybernetic Big Five Theory and Sail-Boat Model. They highlight a very important fact that stability and plasticity both are necessary for a person to become whole – a complete human being. Scott Barry Kaufmann also found out in his study that self-actualization was more strongly related to plasticity than the mere absence of stability. It shows how intrinsic motivation weighs heavier than the materialistic stability. It is a big concept to grasp but all of us are always passing through this experience but seldom are aware of that. You will realize that this is the theory which could also join the western and eastern concepts of enlightenment and self-transcendence.

P.S. – Iron Man’s character from MCU in every sense is the best pop-cultural representation of both the classical and modern ideas of the theory of motivation.

The most selfish character in a story got motivated to sacrifice himself for the greater good

References and for further reading:

  1. A Theory of Human Motivation, A. H. Maslow (1943), Originally Published in Psychological Review, 50, 370-396
  2. Kaufman, Scott Barry. “Self-Actualizing People in the 21st Century: Integration With Contemporary Theory and Research on Personality and Well-Being.” Journal of Humanistic Psychology 63 (2018): 51 – 83.
  3. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/
  4. DeYoung, Colin G. “Cybernetic big five theory.” Journal of research in personality 56 (2015): 33-58.
  5. What Does It Mean to Be Self-Actualized in the 21st Century? – Beautiful Minds – by Scott Barry Kaufman in Scientific American
  6. The Untold Science of Self-Actualization by Marco Sander
  7. Featured image – A man looks at the painting Not to be Reproduced by René Magritte by Daniel Reinhardt

A Story of the Fly and the Grieving Men

Katherine Mansfield’s short story called ‘The Fly’ shows how the loss of loved ones, especially young men in World War created a deep feeling of grief and loss among the surviving people. On surface the story may portray the melancholy of the loss of young generation but deep down it is the story of how ‘manly’ men always bypass the stage of crying out loud to express that grief. This grief brewing inside men is carried over to next generations in the form of cruelty and oppression.

Katherine Mansfield’s short story The Fly

Loss of the loved ones

Loss of loved ones is one emotion which is very difficult to articulate, express. It is very personal, subjective. Every person is a world in themselves and when such a person is lost a complete world is lost. Now the memories, moments associated with that person is the only real link which remains. It is this sad emotion created where most of us are clueless as to how to fill this void. People express these complex emotions of loss in many ways. Expression, communication is one important part of how we interact with each other and help, support each other during such difficult times. Even though other person’s sadness due to loss of their beloved is difficult to comprehend we know when to support them by understanding their behavior and expression, the way they communicate this grief, the way they behave.

But what about the people who very skillfully hide such sadness of loss of their beloved ones? If a person who is deeply hurt by the loss of their loved ones is not even crying or showing any signs of misery, anguish, hatred how would people console them, how would you console them? Superficially it looks completely non-human behavior as emotions and human are two inseparable words. People having such deep inexpressible grief have different way of coping mechanism which eats them from inside and may also affect the world and people around them negatively unknowingly.

Katherine Mansfield’s short story called “The Fly” focuses on an age-old father’s strong grieving emotion of loss of his beloved son in World War 1. The story is very symbolic and different readers have different takes on the central idea of the story hence the story has become highly important short story in modern times. People attribute the fly to the story of war, death, loss of young generation and the demonstration of cruelty which lead to the loss of innocent young people pushed in such wars who actually had nothing to do with it directly. What this short story delivers in the end is very poignant.

The Fly – The story

The story shows two old friends discussing general events in their life over a whisky. Mr. Woodifield is a person who has suffered a stroke and is retired – delicate health-wise. The Boss – 5 years older than Mr. Woodifield is a rich person handling a big business. The Boss is bragging about the renovation of his office to his friend Mr. Woodifield. Mr. Woodifield is happy that he got to drink the whisky as his wife and daughters would not have allowed him to do so. The Boss is showing him all new carpet, furniture, electric heating system and decoration. While showing this, the Boss has made sure that Mr. Woodifield’s attention would not linger over the photograph of a boy in the uniform. (Later readers understand that the it is the photograph of the Boss’s son who died in a war six years ago) Feels like even the Boss is purposefully ignoring his late son’s photo.

In the heat of discussions and drinks Mr. Woodifield brings the topic of his daughters’ visit to the World war soldiers’ cemetery in Belgium. He tells the Boss that his son and the Boss’s son both are buried quite closer to each other. Mr. Woodifield expresses a happiness of relief as expressed by his girls that at least the places where these sons are buried are well maintained, full of flowers and have broad path. It is way of saying that they were resting in peace.

The readers are made aware that the Boss had planned and made every effort to handover his big business to his son. He was very proud of how his son was capable to continue his legacy and his son was also appreciated among his business people. But the war snatched his son away and all his dreams shattered.

The moment the Boss hears the information about his son’s burial place he gets disturbed internally, as if he has lost the track of his surroundings. And before coming back to the reality Mr. Woodifield has already left the office. Now the Boss is alone in his cabin, he tries to express his grief which he had dumped deep below but is surprised that he couldn’t shed single tear.

In this moment the Boss sees a fly trying to escape from the pond of ink bottle kept on his table. The fly is trying hard to escape from the slippery bottle but is failing repeatedly. The Boss picked up the struggling fly with a pen and put it in the blotting paper. He sees the fly making efforts to dry itself to fly away and at this exact moment he becomes curious about the fly’s attempt to remain alive. He drops an ink-drop on the fly just to see what the fly does next. The fly doesn’t stop its efforts and tries to dry itself and fly away. As the boss goes to drop the third ink-drop while ordering the fly like a military officer to “Look sharp!” the fly gives up and dies.    

The moment boss throws away this dead fly out of window he feels a deep void in himself but soon overcomes that feeling and orders his assistant to bring more blotting paper like a military general. The old assistant is confused about this extreme change in the behavior of the Boss.

Things War Offers

Katherine Mansfield – the writer of this short story lost her brother in World War 1. This loss of her brother is supposed to be the main inspiration behind her short story ‘The Fly’. The readers will notice that Mr. Woodifield’s stroke can be attributed to the shock due to loss of his son in the war. He is not shown openly verbal about his loss but the internal grief became so dark that it took toll over his physical condition. The highly ambitious Boss looking forward to introduce his son to his business also lost his son. Katherine has incorporated the characters in story very consciously. There are no young characters who are alive in the story except Mr. Woodifield’s daughters. Even the assistant to the Boss – the office messenger – Mr. Macey is portrayed as a grey-haired old person.

Thus, it is a way to show what was left after the World War ended. The youth was lost. Only helpless mothers and daughters, sisters and age-old fathers were left grieving for the loss of their love sons, brothers.  

The war may offer the victory and pride to the nation but it snatches the youth of the nation and the hope for the better future. It also takes away the meaning from the lives of its age-old population.

Readers will notice that Mr. Woodifield describes the grave of the soldiers in Belgian war cemetery having graves lines in “miles”. It shows the scale on which World war wiped out the youth.

The Struggles of The Fly – How Wars Destroy Invaluable Lives

Many readers and analyzers of the story attribute the struggle of the fly to escape from the ink-pot and ink-drop to the struggle of the Boss’s son in the world war. The Boss’s perspective for how his son suffered is representative of all the young soldiers died in the war. War leaders lifted these soldiers from one slippery pit and threw them to another one, while the bombs were continuously bombarded on them until they eventually died on the battlefields. The struggles of the fly to dry itself and escape are the struggle of the young soldiers on the battlefield.  

Real Men Don’t Cry – How Men Cope with Melancholy and Deep Feelings of Grief

On a first reading, everyone will understand that Katherine Mansfield tried to convey the concepts of friendship, loss of loved ones, dangers of wars through the short story The Fly.

 Another most important and least noticed dimension of this story is how men handle their emotions of sadness. Trust me the Fly is not just about the dangers of the War. It is also about how men always suppress their sad emotions just to portray their masculinity to the outside world and how these suppressed emotions get transferred onto the next person, object or entity as a completely cruel and oppressive behavior.

If your read the story twice, thrice and notice the gaps in the conversations between Mr. Woodifield and the Boss and the actions, expressions they are portraying in these gaps, then you will start to perceive the inner turmoil these two people carry in themselves for their deep melancholy.

Mr. Woodifield has already suffered a stroke which is the effect of him being unable to share his grief from the loss of his son. As the only remaining man of the family now, he should demonstrate strength to the society and his family. Crying out loud is not the solution, thus his is getting eaten from inside with his old age.

To portray that he has come out the grief of the loss of his son Reggie, Mr. Woodifield explains the visit of his girls to the Belgian War Cemetery like it was just a simple visit to some normal location in foreign. As if there was nothing special about it. Furthermore, to mask his grief he describes this graveyard as full of flowers and spacious. He is trying to tell the Boss that at least in afterlife their sons are in good place and closer to each other, but he is actually trying to console himself unknowingly. It is his mind that he wants to assure that his son is resting in peace.

You will notice the depth of his grief when Mr. Woodifield immediately changes this topic of War cemetery to the topic of high costs for a pot of jam in Belgium where his girls were staying during their visit.

Many men use same technique of instantly changing topic in the fear that the grief will break out in some way which others may take as a weakness. Trust me, men are masters of such drifts in their conversation especially in a man to man or friend to friend-to-friend conversations. Very rarely male friends will share the problems or feelings of grief with each other. They will talk about the whole world but not explicitly about their sadness. I think Katherine succeeded in portraying these minuscule yet significantly impactful but unnoticed behavior of men. A tornado is always building up in such grievous men but they are masters of hiding that too. No wonder people are surprised when they hear a lively and happy man taking his own life, who is later revealed to be very depressed.

The Boss’s handles his grief in totally opposite way. We see him as more powerful and influential than Mr. Woodifield and he thinks the same about himself too. You should notice that the event when he is showing the renovation of his office to Mr. Woodifield is the moment which he had planned for his son actually. The carpet, the furniture and the electric heater were all for his son. He purposefully ignored his dead son’s photograph during conversations. He was trying to hide the reality that his son died and renovating the office was one way to get closer to this illusion that his son lives. The illusion that at any moment his son will return to this renovated office and take over his father’s business. This breaks my heart. In a corner of his heart, the Boss knew that his son will never return but he still renovated the place in a hope of return. No wonder they say that hope is a dangerous thing.

The boss is so used to hiding his feeling and vent it out through crying. You can see this in the moment just after Mr. Woodifield leaves the office, when the Boss tries to cry but is unable to shed a tear.

The use of exclusively accessible whisky for enjoyment with his friend Mr. Woodifield is also a masking mechanism, a distraction cleverly used by the Boss to portray that nothing has affected him. Men will resort to infinitely many distractions than to explicitly express their sadness just to show that they are manly men.

The Brewing of the Inner Dark Storm

As the name of the story is ‘The Fly’ many think that the pivot of the story is how the Fly underwent death as the representation of how young people died in war and how their relatives got badly affected because of that. I have additional input on this point. The pivot of the story is the Boss. The death of the fly is just what he wants to happen with the other people around him as a helpless revenge for the loss of his son. What Katherine showed in the closing encounters between the Boss and the Fly are actually the depictions of how the suppressed and hidden grief, melancholy, depression in men actually gets projected out as a behavior of inhumane cruelty and unjustified- unending anger, anguish. They will never cry and release this grief but would choose cruelty to channel this anguish. That is how every war in history created new generation full of people hating each other. People especially men are really bad about sharing their sadness, feelings of grief and in many such cases they choose violence to channel out these feelings.

The way the Boss orders the fly like a military officer like “Look Sharp” or “Come on” is not addressed to the fly or not even as the reminiscence of how his son was ordered to fight in war while death dropping on him; actually, it is addressed to himself to remain composed while hiding his pain. The death of the fly here is not the representation of how his son died, it is actually how a part of the Boss himself has died – it is the death of the emotional and humane side of the Boss.

When men find it difficult to channel their grief into an emotional outburst, history has examples where we have seen them choosing the side of anger, cruelty and oppression.

Please understand that there are three different destinations where such grievous men end into. The first are already helpless so the grief eat them from inside, the second one and the majority choose the cruelty for expression and the third but very few succeed in expressing such emotions without guilt and receive help from the outside world.  

Melancholy in Men

Sadness is one important aspect of human emotions. In very crude way, sadness is an emotion expressed when things are not working according to one’s expectations. The word simply goes as ‘sad’ but the emotions which it represents are not that simple, crude actually. There are many reasons for a person to be sad and I see two different types of this emotion. When things are not happening up to your expectations, you become sad; you are sad that its not happening for you – I will call it “a selfish sadness”. You are sad because you didn’t win, you are sad because you lost that train and now, you’ll be late to your destination.

The second type is the sadness you have when the things don’t happen for the people you love, when the people you love are sad. You are sad because your people are sad. You want them to be happy. This sadness I would call as “a selfless sadness”.

A selfish sadness starts and ends with you so it is always in your control to get over this sadness. But, for selfless sadness the situation is tricky. It starts from you and it is always connected to the people you love, outside of you. When things are not in your control in such cases this type of sadness is deepest and the darkest one. Exposure to such selfless sadness in addition to the grief from the loss of loved one is a dangerous combination.

Katherine Mansfield, despite being a woman portrayed the details of how ‘manly’ men try to cope with the loss of their loved ones. They either succumb to the dark feeling and give up or they channel this extreme sadness into aggression and oppression of the weaklings, very few men successfully share their feelings and come out of it.

For me the condition of the fly is exactly how the world will be – oppressed and full of hatred if men won’t cry when they are grieving.  

Source for reading:

The Fly by Katherine Mansfield

The Green Knight – A Story of Killing the Boy

Many people who have had a near-death experience tell that their whole life flashed before their eyes. Although, it is difficult to try out and experience the reality of it, experience shared by such people is interesting and indicates what it means to be a conscious human being rather a living thing.   

Many of us would have also seen drastic behavioral changes in people after they have gone through a difficult disease or after they have gone through an accident but by mere luck their life was saved. Such life altering events have influenced their thought process and their understanding of life in such a way that all their acts, their discussions, their decisions reflect the strong influence of death.

This is not just about the exposure real life-taking moments; Sometimes, these near-death experiences are symbolic. Everyone of us have such moments in our life where we reject who we were and what we represented earlier to accept what is about to happen in order continue our journey forward, to survive. Such events are very common in everyone’s life and are very uncomfortable in every sense, that is why we never discuss such things very often.

“Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” is a one such piece of Chivalric Romance from the 14th century which is closely bound to the legends of the King Arthur. The story of the Green Knight is one of the most important parts of English literature.

This discussion is based on a movie called “The Green Knight” by David Lowery starring Dev Patel as Sir Gawain who is the nephew of King Arthur. There will be heavy spoilers in the further expansion of ideas so, Warning! Those who have watched the movie can simply skip the synopsis.

The Green Knight

Poster of movie The Green Knight by A24

In this story, Sir Gawain (who is yet to become a knight) is the son of King Arthur’s Step Sister who performs enchantments and magic. On the morning of Christmas, Gawain is with his lover called Essel in a brothel instead of visiting the Church for which he receives scolding from his mother. Gawain’s mother asks to leave without her to the Christmas celebration at the King Arthur’s Round Table. Where, King Arthur, asks Gawain out of all the knights present in the tower to have a sit by his side. After having a discussion with King Arthur and his wife Guinevere, Gawain realizes that, out of all the Knights present for the celebration, he is the only one who has nothing to talk about his honorable deeds, brave acts to support his “Knighthood”. He realizes that though people expect him to be a knight by the birth-right, he has not done anything to prove and validate this knighthood. The queen tells Gawain that, he is yet to receive the opportunity to prove his worthiness, which settles the storm in Gawain’s mind. And at this moment the Green Knight appears in the celebration. The green knight looks exactly like ‘the Groot’ from Marvel movies. The appearance of the Green Knight is caused due to the magic of Gawain’s enchantress mother. The Green Knight appears near the round table with his horse and an axe to play a game. The game’s rules are simple- One able man from the Kings knights will get an opportunity to strike a blow to the Green Knight and if it hurts the Green Knight, he will be the owner of the axe of the Green Knight and in a sense the fame, glory followed with it. But, his poses one condition to this game- that after hurting the Green knight and owning his axe, the game will only be considered as completed when the same person will visit him in the Green Chapel after exactly one year and one day. The Green Knight will return the same strike to the person and then they will part on a friendly note.

Everyone in the celebration is scared by mere presence of the Green Knight and hence is scared to represent the King against the Green Knights proposal. This is the moment where Sir Gawain (with all the adrenaline) realizes that demonstration of courage for the opportunity offered may prove his worthiness and he accepts the challenge of the Green Knight. King Arthur offers his Excalibur to blow the strike against the Green Knight. Without any defense, the Green Knight offers his neck to Sir Gawain and seemingly confused but in the rush of proving himself, Sir Gawain separates the Green Knight’s head from his rest of the body and people cheer for him.

In few moments, the decapitated body lifts the separated head to remind everyone that this is only the half part of the game and the game will be finished when the Green Knight will return the same blow to the same person in exactly one year and one day in Green Chapel.  

– A gentle reminder –
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

This is the dreadful moment when Sir Gawain realizes the foolishness that has brought upon the death in front of him. And swiftly, the year passes – the stories of the Green Knight have made him famous all over, thus reinforcing people’s belief in his chivalry and honor.

But deep down, Sir Gawain knows that it is only the death and its fear that he has received after performing this act on the Green Knight. But, as an aspiring Knight and heir to the throne, he thinks that honor calls upon him. Facing the Green Knight is the only option for proving the nobleness and greatness of his character. With heavy heart and knowing that the return blow by the Green Knight will be more than sufficient to end his life, Sir Gawain leaves for the Green Chapel with the same axe to complete the challenge. On this journey his mother has given him a magic girdle –a sash, a magic belt which will protect him from any harm as long as he wears it.

On the journey ahead Gawain meets a boy in a battlefield who gives him direction to the Green Chapel and asks for return of the favor. Gawain simply thanks him and after forcing for the payment he pays the boy a coin. The same boy with his friends loots Gawain stealing all his belongings with the axe. They tie Gawain all over leaving him to rot to death. Sir Gawain- helpless at first realizes that in order to survive he must break himself free and tries to free himself with the sword left behind. By the night, with a strong feeling of homesickness, he visits an abandoned house where he finds a bed to rest. A ghost of a young woman called Winifred awakens him which demands her head to be retrieved from the lake nearby. Gawain asks Winifred what’s in it for him to help her. Winifred refuses to provide anything in return but anyways Sir Gawain reunites her head with her body. He receives his lost axe in return reminding him that he cannot return home because his fate is waiting for him.

-Gawain to retrieve Winifred’s head-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

In this journey, Gawain makes friendship with a fox who is constantly following him. During a storm, Gawain lands in a Castle where a he is welcomed by a Lord, where he loses the fox. The Lord treats Gawain well and comforts him that he is very close in his journey and the Green Chapel is mere a day close from his castle so he can rest for few days. The lord’s lady has uncanny resemblance to Essel- the love of Gawain and the lord’s mother is always seen blindfolded yet aware of the surrounding around her as if she can still see Gawain. This creates some uncomfortable situations for Gawain. The lord’s lady makes seductive advances on Gawain and on the other hand the lord proposes that he will return whatever best he will receive from the hunt to Gawain and Gawain will return him whatever the best he has received in from the castle in that day. The lord’s lady offers the girdle similar to the girdle Gawain lost during the thievery at the battlefield in the return of his kisses. Feared to the the loss of his life, Gawain gives the kisses to the lady for the Girdle in exchange and flees from the castle as soon as possible. When crossed by the lord and asked for the return of the boar from his hunt, Gawain hides the Girdle and only gives the kisses in return to the lord which he had received form the lady. The lord also frees the same accompanying fox found during the hunt to Gawain, thus Gawain and the fox are reunited for the final journey.

The fox starts speaking to Gawain asking him to return from this journey and nobody will know of it and he still has the chance to live more years because it is only the death that he is approaching towards, in the coming moments.

Gawain refuses the fox’s offer to leave from the challenge and to prolong his life saying that it will not be honorable and great. And hence, approaches the Green Chapel with all the mixed feelings of courage and fear of the death. He sees the Green Knight in hibernation and waits for him to awaken. On the exact next day as planned – the Green Knight wakes up and asks Gawain that is it the same day to complete the challenge.  Helplessly and knowing that this will be the final day of his life, Gawain offers the axe to the Green Knight and his neck to return the same blow he struck to complete the challenge- the game.

At first stroke Gawain flinches, and he is reminded by the Green Knight that when Gawain was about to blow the strike the Green Knight didn’t flinch.

At second strike Gawain again flinches and asks that is this everything that is in life? And the knight says this is all there is.

Upon accepting that this truly is his final moment, Gawain gathers all the courage, escapes from the third strike and leaves the Green Chapel knowing that he has not completed the challenge. But, he is aware that whatever has happened is only between him and the Green Knight, nobody can challenge or question the greatness of the Sir Gawain plus he gets to live by missing the challenge, fooling the death itself. After his return, Sir Gawain becomes the King Gawain- the successor of King Arthur and the greatness of the title. He becomes father of son from Essel but rejects Essel because of her identity with the brothel. He marries a lady of a noble house and becomes a father to a girl. Then in a battle loses his son. After this huge loss, he also loses the respect people gave him. In this downfall, when the enemy attackers are finally on the verge of acquiring the castle, King Gawain realizes that this will be his last moment. During all these events after the escape from the Green Chapel we as an audience understand that the Gawain sustained the third strike because of the Girdle given by his mother. Sir Gawain and King Gawain thereafter never let go of the girdle understanding that it was only the girdle which kept him alive. Even in the intimate moments with woman he never removed the girdle as his life was bound to it. At the final moments of the attack, at the castle, King Gawain realizes that he has accomplished and experienced everything that there is to do and experience in life. Satisfied with his achievement and the life experiences gained after the event at the Green Chapel, King Gawain removes the girdle and his head falls down which was held till date from the strike of the Green Knight only because of the girdle.

Then there is complete moment shift in the movie where we see the face of young Gawain still in the Green Chapel waiting for the third strike from the axe of the Green Knight. Until this moment, we as an audience understand that we were seeing the whole life of Sir Gawain flashing before his eyes which is such a strong feeling that it cannot be expressed in words.

This is the near-death moment – where Gawain realizes that whatever you do whatever you try to run from –the death will be the only destination and accepting it in a fearless way is the only option and pathway to the so called ‘greatness’ that he was seeking from this challenge anyway.  

He accepts the consequence of the event and with the revelation of life and death, with the clarity,with the fearlessness in mind, Sir Gawain removes the Girdle from his body and asks the Green Knight to blow the return strike to complete the challenge. The Green Knight holds his axe down and relieves Sir Gawain with his head for the bravery, thereby completing the challenge.

The synopsis is mere an attempt to cover the important moments of the story and the movie. David Lowery deserves great recognition, hats off for the details he has scattered all over in the movie and the justice he has done to the great story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Now, with the key takeaways from the movie,

Sir Gawain’s test of Knighthood

Popularly, the story of the Green Knight represents the five virtues of a knight. The movie highlights this when the Gawain prepares for the journey to the Green Chapel. Here, the queen prays for the strength in five fingers, sharpness of five senses, inspiration from the five joys of the blessed Virgin Mary, enthusiasm from five wounds of her son Jesus.

The qualities a knight should possess are the five virtues namely Generosity, Chastity, Friendship, Courtesy and Piety. The Green Knight’s story is actually a story of Sir Gawain failing at all these virtues before he accepts his final fate.

Generosity- Gawain doesn’t recognize the help provided by the boy in battlefield for the directions provided by him and upon only force does he give him a coin to complete the transaction of help. For Gawain at this moment, the direction has no value because he thinks that he would have found the way to Green Chapel anyways, thereby undermining the help provided by the boy from battlefield.

Courtesy- After all the looting acts of the boy from battlefield and his mates, Gawain somehow escapes himself to an abandoned house and sleeps there. Winifred, the woman’s ghost and the occupier of the house asks Gawain to retrieve her head for which without showing any courtesy Gawain asks something in return thereby failing the second time.

Friendship- After leaving the lord’s castle without acknowledging the support and gifts from the lord, Gawain rejects the suggestion of his companion fox to either end this journey here and return to his people safely without revealing what actually happened or facing the Green Knight with all the courage without the protective girdle; For it will be the only right way to do it. Gawain rejects the suggestion of his friend and scares him away thereby ending the friendship.

Chastity- The acceptance of the seductive advancements from the castle’s lady only to get the life protecting girdle shows the failure of Gawain at chastity.

Piety- Piety can roughly be called as religiousness, one’s spirituality. As from the start of the story it is clear that instead of going to the church on the Christmas day, he spends the day in brothel. All of the decisions are made to please himself neither God or the King or his people. Hence, he fails at this too.

These are the five virtues of the honorable Knight which are highlighted in the Arthurian legends and the religious mentions too.

So, in nutshell even if Gawain had failed miserably at all five virtues, the girdle would have given him the opportunity to live his life to the fullest. But, upon having this near-death experience and understanding how worthless his life- even after all the achievements- will be as there is no honor in it, Gawain presents himself to death. Honor was the only thing he was seeking from this challenge. The decision of dying with an honorable life rather than living a false and self-centered life is the decision that shapes the character of Gawain in the last moments in Green Chapel making him the true Knight, the true heir to the King Arthur. It is his understanding and acceptance of the death as the final destination which makes him brave, which gives him all the knowledge that was required to understand the life in those few moments.

I think this is a story of a boy becoming a man:

The good thing about the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is that it tells the qualities an honorable person should possess to live a fulfilled life whatever it’s span maybe. The great thing about movie The Green Knight is that it opens the story for further interpretations which connects a Late 14th century to the 21st Century. The early part of the story, represents a fickle, lightheaded, royal blood carrying boy called Gawain who is unaware of the real callings of the life and responsibilities in order to achieve the greatness. Gawain irresponsibly spends his time in brothels knowing that the knighthood will be given to him anyways by blood. It is only upon the realization by the influence of the King and the queen that he becomes aware of the fact that real greatness demands great deeds. And in order to do some great, he decides to accept the challenge of the Green knight on a whim or without a thought.

After easily blowing the strike and decapitating the Green Knight, Gawain thinks that now he has done enough to prove his worth to the other knights and the King. It is only when he gets the weight of responsibilities and the consequences of this action when the decapitated head reminds him of the returning the same strike. Poor boy Gawain passes the whole year with a dread to face his death. Gawain still thinks that honor and greatness is only about doing some extraordinary things and getting famous on the stories of these acts. As the year comes to an end, deep down-he also knows that he must face the fate of his actions. Hence the reason when the King Arthur reminds him to go to Green Chapel, Gawain tells him “I fear I am not meant for the greatness”. This moment shows the cravings for fame, greatness but rejection of responsibilities coming with it for a young boy like Gawain.

Helplessly, when Gawain embarks on the journey to the Green Chapel- he is equipped with all the tools and weapons to ensure the successful journey. Even after that, he is robbed by some people. These events reflect the exposure of a fickle boy to the real world where all the hereditary, materialistic provisions prove of less value and only his grit and his spirit of survival can help him to stand strong in such attacks. The breaking of the shield of Gawain by the boy from the battlefield indicates that even the protection given by your guardians will not hold longer when you are exposed to the acts of the real world during the journey of greatness.

-Welcome to the real world, it sucks and you are gonna love it-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

Here, Gawain sees the options in front of him- either he can die to a green moss-covered skeleton or he can escape from this anyhow. Gawain successfully escapes with the help of the sword. This gives some hope to the development of the character.    

The events with the Winifred indicate the challenges in the journey of greatness. Here, Gawain is a lazy and whining boy where he asks for help from the ghost which is already in dire need of help. But, upon hearing about his resemblance to the knight who decapitated Winifred, Gawain understands what he can become if he is not on the right path. Helping the Winifred adds one more credit in the journey of his greatness. Helping her, Gawain receives the axe again reminding him of the path he should chose. Still our boy is under the fear of what comes next, the uncertainty and survival through it.

The fox in his journey represent the inner conscience Gawain speaks to when he is traveling alone. There is no one to interact and socialize at this moment hence only himself with whom Gawain interacts which is shown as a fox. This is his inner voice and also his primitive safety seeking mindset which tries to avert him from risks during the journey of greatness. After the eating the hallucinating mushroom, our boy Gawain also seeks short cuts from the giants in his journey, showing the immaturity he still holds to ease his journey.

– a shortcut on “the shoulders of giants”-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

The fox howling to the giants for not offering their shoulder is indication of our boy Gawain mocking the great giants but continuing the journey without anyone’s help again gives us the hope for the character development of Gawain.

The events at the castle and its lord, his lady and his mother are the representative of the important life decisions Gawain will make when he will achieve the greatness. They represent the life after completing the Green Knight’s challenge. Here, the truthfulness, transparency in the relations whether they are between Gawain and the lord or the between Gawain and the lady are important. If you see properly, there is a bond created between the lord of the castle and Gawain and similar bond between lady and Gawain. This bond represents the comfort we enjoy with our relationships. This comfort of relationship causes him to rest more at the moment when he is so close to his goal. This represents the loss of focus of our boy Gawain in his journey of greatness. The intermixing of emotions, no control on the emotions, the comfort deviates the mind and body of Gawain from the goal. Strong attachment, entanglement with the relations which are merely dependent on give and take transactions blurs the vision of Gawain. You will see the lord asking for something in return for his hunt, the lady asking for something in return for the girdle all the time when Gawain is in their castle.

You will also see the context of whole movie in their one common discussion with Gawain. The Green according to the lady symbolizes the life as in a green tree, green earth and the also as a death as in the green moss which covers all the dead bodies and non-living cobbles all around.

-The “this is what the movie is all about” moment-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

After parting away from all the emotional attachments, hence leaving the castle as early as possible Gawain again meets with his fox friend indicating the loss of his inner self, his conscience during this relaxing period where fox was not with him.

When Gawain reaches the river for the final step of the journey the fox tells him to either stop here or go ahead without the girdle. This is the conflict going in his Gawain’s mind which is shown through the dialogue between Gawain and the fox. The fox being sly animal represented here as Gawain’s conscience- his inner-self, shows how our mind tricks us to remain in comfort zones only to make our lives simple and easy thereby taking us away from the greatness.

– you can still chose-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

Anyways, the good thing about the story is Gawain seeking for greatness and his deep-down hidden honesty which helps him to continue the journey. But, most of the courage he has for the further journey is resided in the protective girdle in which he has blind faith. The girdle is the representative of all the misconceptions, ‘our’- versions of truth, the truth etched on our minds by our surrounding that we think will protect us from all the bad that is in the world. The girdle that Gawain blindly holds on for his life are the metaphors of the boundaries of un-upgradable beliefs, preconceptions we keep in order to maintain our version of facts. Hence, at the final moment of realization of worthlessness of the girdle, Gawain puts his beliefs, his preconceptions aside and accepts death as the only truth which is the death.

When Gawain reaches the Green Chapel, he sees the Green Knight in hibernation- sleeping and unaware of the surrounding. Even though Gawain knows that his death- the Green Knight is sleeping, he is not going to survive this event. There will be any time that the Green Knight will wake up and kill him. This is a perfect metaphor of how we are always running away from death, how we console ourselves about the things we are going to do when death is not around and when we are living. The un-acceptance of the presence of death to live life and then helplessly accepting its presence and slightly (not fully) embracing it in the final moments shows how pity and how limited we as a human beings are in our final moments.      

– the death awaits-
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

Sir Gawain’s transformational journey and the philosophy of the meaning of life

Next important moments in this story define why we as a human can lead our lives to greatness despite of having surrounded by the limitations of life and death.

The first flinch of the Gawain on the green Knights strike is the moment of self-reflection with what could Gawain had done better in order to not land here. There is still that young whining boy present there. The dialogue between the Green Knight and Gawain are very impactful here:

1st Strike

The Green Knight– You have had a year to find the courage

Gawain– One year or a hundred it wouldn’t make a difference. Give me a moment.

This shows the realization of procrastination, loss of valuable time for Gawain in his supposedly last moments. Now he is trying to steal some moments to gather that courage!

2nd Strike

The Green Knight – Are you ready? (Twice)

Gawain– Yes

(If one remembers the start of the movie, Gawain is asked by a woman in brothel on the Christmas day that “Isn’t he a Knight already?”to which Gawain answers that “He is not ready yet”. This looks funny at this moment)

The Green Knight – The I shall get to hacking.

Gawain– Wait, wait. Is this really all there is?

The Green Knight– What else ought there be?

This is the moment when Gawain accepts that he cannot escape the death also the worthlessness of the life, the nihilism.

The 3rd Strike

It is the moment before the third strike where Gawain’s whole life, his future life flashes before his eyes where he dies in that life leading to the realization that whatever journeys of life he will embark upon the final destination is always going to be the death. The honor gained, the greatness of life will be dependent on the how he has lived it and accepted the death rather than running away from it. The third strike is symbolically the death of the boy called Gawain and the birth of a Man- Sir Gawain and the true heir to King Arthur.

The famous quote from Confucius really resonates with the conclusion of the story:

“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”

Confucius
(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

Sir Gawain’s transformational journey and the psychology of the Man-Child

A trend discovered by a Swiss psychologist called Marie- Lois von Franz, showed that many adults in spite of achieved physically adult state were not psychologically matured. These were called as “Puer Aeturnus” (Latin for “eternal child”).  Surprisingly this trend was found in mid-20th century. The whole idea behind “Puer Aeturnus” is that due to the complete confinement, extra care and easy, comfortable provisions by their parents, the young men in their peak years like 20s and 30s are struggling to lead their own life independently. Many are victims of virtual world, video games, internet living life in passive and supposedly in a safe way. And this is linked to many psychological, sexual, academic, professional, financial, social disorders. The solution to this problem is simple in a way which requires separation of this adult-child from his comfort providers.

Sigmund Freud has said somewhat similar thing:

“No one could be a man unless his father has died”

– Sigmund Freud

The idea is to get out of the influence of someone who is responsible for the way of our life and its consequence. The death of father figure for a boy is the moment when there is no greater figure, experienced person thereby ‘efforts saving’ person for his further life. This is time when the boy realizes that he has to make the decisions for himself and become responsible for their consequences.

“Yes, but that death (Father’s death) could occur symbolically”

– Carl Jung

Carl Jung expanded the idea of the death of father figure in an interesting way. According to Jung, even the realization of a person to the fact that his father rather his parents, guardians thereby someone guiding him to make his path easier will not be with him forever. There will be times when he has to take his decisions and own the consequences.

Jordan Peterson has given one excellent explanation on becoming independent from parents using the examples of the story of Pinocchio, Peter Pan and Harry Potter.

I believe that the transformational journey of Sir Gawain also resonates with his separation from the comforts of his life. Here, King Arthur- his uncle and the supposedly greatest father of their time (because no other father had the courage and strength to pull the Excalibur in those times) is the father figure and the Sir Gawain’s mother are his parents. Seeing the fickle behavior of Sir Gawain, I think that King Arthur and Sir Gawain’s mother plan this game for his transformation from Man-Child, because this will be the person who would be carrying King Arthur’s legacy, who will become the leader and father of all the people.

The same thing of losing that adult-child is also reflected in the popular culture of our modern days as seen in Game of Thrones. There is one exact episode where all such relevant things happen. It is the Episode 5 of Season 5 of Game of Thrones called “Kill the Boy”.

-Death of a father figure, a friend, a counselor-
(Scene from HBO’s Game of Throne)

In this episode, we see that Ser Barristan Selmy dies due to the attacks of “Sons of Harpy”. He was the father figure for Daenerys. Upon realising that there is not wiser and experienced person to counsel her, Daenerys takes the charge and responsibility of her decisions thereby establishing her command over Meereen. Here, the events show the death of parent-like figure which transforms Daenerys to kill that adult-child in her and take the charge of her decisions and the responsibilities that come with it.

And in the same episode, we see that Jon Snow has brought the Wildlings under same roof where the Night’s Watch lives. Jon is now thinking about making alliance of the Night’s Watch with the Wildlings who consider each other their greatest enemies. Jon thinks that, he could not make this decision on his own and seeks someone’s experience to make the decision right. Hence, he approaches Maester Aemon for the advice where Maester Aemon clearly tells Jon Snow to own the consequence of his decisions.

Maester Aemon exactly tells Jon Snow the following:

“You will find little joy in your command. But, with luck you will find the strength to do what needs to be done.

Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us.

Kill the boy and let the Man be born”.

– “Kill the boy, Jon Snow”-
(Scene from HBO’s Game of Thrones)

This scene exactly resonates with the death of the man-child similar to the story of the Green Knight, which seems absolutely magical. The indirect influence of such values, the permeation of such strong ideas, their eternal and imperishable nature precisely points to what makes us a true human beings and is mesmerizing on so many levels.    

OR

Maybe, the story of the Green Knight is in a way that story told to the adolescents to teach them to take the charge of their lives

OR

Maybe, it was just a fun game played on Christmas for the entertainment to make the day more memorable (and to shake Sir Gawain to his core for the year as the longest running prank!).

Jokes aside, but the symbolism and the depth of the characters and their intentions and the lessons that we learn from the story, the relevance of such an old story even with the times of today makes the story of the Green Knight so special for us. That’s all there is, that can be penned down for such a piece from ancient literature.   

(Scene from David Lowery’s ‘The Green Knight’ by A24)

References and further readings:

  1. 2017 Maps of Meaning 04: Marionettes and Individuals (Part 3) – By Jordan B Peterson
  2. Carl Jung and the Psychology of the Man-Child
  3. Photo of Carl Jung from Britannica

The Batman- The superhero who ‘unlearned’

Journey of a person through cognitive dissonance

The Batman by Matt Reeves is one of the most important and influential movies. It is important not because some profit expecting comic book franchise is trying to reboot their most valuable asset in order to establish the character so as to drive the future narratives of the stories which will be getting introduced in the near future but it stands important because of the fact that it shows mirror to us as a human dealing with the nature of truths we are taught. The Batman by Matt Reeves is not a superhero movie, rather it tells the story of a person who discovers that all of his life decisions which made him who he is today were based on the lies and his journey out of these lies. It is the story of the batman ‘unlearning’ the facts he accepted throughout his life about his parents.

There will be some spoilers hereon in the discussion, WARNING! Watch the movie and get back again or never mind.

We all know the origin story of the Batman, the murder of his parents by a goon for few amount of money influenced his life decisions creating a strong hatred for the injustice and idea of punishing criminals with violence for their deeds. That is why he considers punishing the criminals and goons in the Gotham as a way to avenge the murder of his parents. Hence the reason the Batman of Matt Reeves always introduces himself as ‘Vengeance’ in the movie. Vengeance is the foundation of the Batman in this movie based on the fact that his parents were the innocents who fell victim to the disorder and crimes of the city. This is the truth of the Batman as a character. You will see the Batman and others (mostly Cat woman) calling him as vengeance throughout the movie.

The movie builds upon a series of murders done by the Riddler and sending one by one love letters to the Batman in each investigation to reveal various political, personal lies which were told to the people of Gotham city to maintain the power concentrated in the hands of bunch of people. These people used the power for personal gains only, thereby creating chaos and distress in the Gotham city. One-by-one murder of high-profile persons from the Gotham city administration and judiciary system finally reveal that the parents of Bruce Wayne- the Batman and especially his father was also one of the persons who was responsible for the downfall of the Gotham city.

The moment when the Bruce Wayne knows the truth that his father – Thomas Wayne was also one of the high-profile people who created the foundations of scams, frauds, unreliable charities, unreliable city renewal projects and fake drug raids in order to win the people of Gotham, the whole idea of him avenging the death of his parents, being ‘Batman’ seems useless to him. The truth reveal becomes an attack on his identity when he knows that his father- whom he used to consider the noblest of all- his role model was also trying to hide the truth about mental illness of his mother to maintain his political image during elections and his attempt to prefer illegal acts to control that ‘information’ completely shatters the idea of what made him the Batman.

There are two types of truths that the movie really focuses on- the white lies and the black lies. The white lies are meant to be harmless to the listeners like the parents telling a child not to misbehave otherwise the boogieman will come and get them. The black lies are the lies which are meant for the benefit of the person telling them. The company leaders telling investors misleading profit and false business models to get people invested more in their companies and thereby bubbling the company portfolio are the examples of black lies (read more about the Fyre Festival, the Theranos case).

The lies like the greatest drug raid GCPD carried out in Gotham city to eradicate the drug abuse in order to publicize the mayor-elect, the Gotham renewal fund which was meant to uplift the social infrastructure was actually a money laundering scheme- were the black lies for the story. Thomas Wayne having a clean family background was the black lie for the people of Gotham city.  

But there comes a moment in the movie when Alfred confronts the Batman- Bruce Wayne for the reality of his parents that some lies are essential for the well-being of the person and the society. It was a sincere and innocent attempt of Thomas Wayne to hide the truth of Martha for the well-being of families and his love for her which created this ‘white lie’. The white lies with which Bruce Wayne grew up with, brought the best out of him – making him to fight for the ‘Justice of the people’.  

As a human being we are what we believe in. Our personalities are built by the facts that our surroundings impose on us. It becomes really difficult to accept the that whatever was told to us our whole life was a lie. Humans do not accept these truths and try to find the ways to move away from such truths. People also try to find the groups of other people who support the similar ideas so as to run away from the truth. Our brains cannot handle such type of clashes because these lies (truths of us) are the foundations of our being. Psychologists call this as a ‘cognitive dissonance’. It refers to the mental conflict that occurs when a person’s behaviors and beliefs do not align. It may also happen when a person holds two beliefs that contradict each other. This is what suffering is. Our mind tries to avoid such sufferings and existential crises. Colin Stokes- a famous TED Speaker and writer in ‘the New Yorker Magazine’ discusses this in a very effective way in a TED talk.  

But you know what, one cannot run away from the truth. The truth always finds its way. Jordan Peterson in his lecture has said the following about the nature of a lie-

“Problem with lying is (it’s) like hydra, it has one of the consequences that you expect you can get away with it but it has 3 or 4 others that you don’t expect so it grows some complexity then you have tackle lie on each of those ‘complexity-o-crops’ and then they grow three more complexities and soon this little lie turns into a great Ball of lies, and at some point, it becomes painfully evident to everyone.” -Jordan Peterson

Peterson also quotes Mark Twain about the advantages of telling the truth-

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

This is what roughly lies between the truth and the lie.

Now, let us have one reality check.

According to the scientific studies, a person lies twice a day on an average. The lies are innate part of our personal and social interactions. If a man doesn’t tell lies to his wife about that dress being beautiful on her or her hairdo looking stunning, how could he stay alive otherwise! – Jokes apart. There is one scientific study available in ‘arXiv’ maintained by Cornell Tech which implies that white lies can truly build the society, ‘glue’ it together while the black lies fragment- break the society. Same thing is seen in the Batman movie. The black lie actually leads to the chaos in the Gotham and increases the people’s following to the Riddler.

We humans have actually mastered the art of lying for the mere being of survival. If such small harmless lies are such inseparable part of our life, then how could one handle the real lies which have made him/her the way they are! How could they change the course of this ‘fundamental’ and ‘learned/ believed throughout my entire life’ thought process?

One lie leading to other one to ‘cover up’ creates a series of misinformation and chaos which has different impact on different people causing them to make different choices. This is the reason we can see that the same lies affect the decisions made by Batman and the Riddler. As Riddler tries to convince Batman that they both can enjoy ‘the reveal’ of truths as one group and purge the whole Gotham city off of all the criminals, he is also willing to accept the harm being done to the innocents as revealing the truth is more important for Riddler but Batman has different ideology.

This is the moment which sets differences between Riddler and Batman. Though having almost same backgrounds and same intentions, same fight to eradicate injustice- Batman doesn’t accept Riddler’s offer knowing that he is also part-victim of these lies.

There is this moment in the third act of the movie when one of the Riddler’s followers when asked about his identity calls himself as ‘Vengeance’. It is in the same fashion the Batman introduces himself. This is the moment when the Batman realizes the consequences of the white lie and how you cannot convince everyone for the white lie (it is a lie after all). He understands in this very moment that act of avenging his parents by punishing the criminals of Gotham is not only spreading the fear for him thereby the fear for ‘Justice being served or their moment of reckoning’ but it is also creating some bad examples for the people who are aware of only the black lies. They are not made aware of all the white lies and in some sense, even when someone tries to tell them the intentions of white lies, they won’t be in a position to understand it. This is the nature of lies. Black or white- a lie is a lie.

Then, what makes the Batman and Riddler or his followers differ?

I think that it is the process of unlearning and thereby accepting the truth.

Unlearning can simply mean discarding the false information which was till date responsible for the foundation of who you were and rediscovering the same things with new perspective, rediscovering what that lie was hiding. The batman unlearns ‘the truth about his parents’ told to him from his childhood. He understands that however bad/ugly it may seem, it cannot change what he is today. That is why our Batman in the third act accepts that the ‘Vengeance cannot change the past’, it will not change the fact about his parents, it won’t even bring them back. Hence the reason our Batman in the end of this movie expects himself to become a ray of hope for people (and not vengeance)

Batman clears off his mind of what is right and what is wrong. He makes the notion to save the people of Gotham as a primary goal rather than displaying himself as vengeance and punishing the criminals. He brings himself out of the shadows, it is greatly and symbolically highlighted in the moment when he sacrifices himself to save people from live electric cables and when he lights up the torch to bring the people out of the floods.  

This process of unlearning of the Batman, the journey of Batman accepting the ugly truth of his past, his journey inwards in ‘this’ Matt Reeves adaptation makes the story so special. It is the reason why even though many villains share similar intentions, pasts, personal acts with the batman they cannot become the Batman.     

We all have similar type of moments in our life – when the truths we were built upon, when the people we follow, the people we admire, the ideologies we accept as the ultimate truths prove out to be false, wrong. I think these are the perfect moments, perfect opportunities to redefine ourselves, to again question the nature of who we are and the purpose of our being and the influence, the example we are creating in the world. This is the chance to unlearn the same things around us. It is this suffering, the inner battle which we have to endure to learn the real truth. David Brooks, a famous Columnist says these sentences in his TED talk to highlight our dealings with the suffering of realization of the lies that made us- “Suffering’s great power is that it is the great interruption of life. It reminds you that you’re not the person you thought you were.”

This, I think is the power of storytelling for the Batman Movie. Even though he is a superhero, there is that connect between the Batman and we as a human beings which creates an emotional common ground for everyone to connect with each other.

References:

  1. Jordan Peterson – Side Effects of Telling Lies
  2. What to do when you learn that everything is a lie: Colin Stokes at TEDxBeaconStreet
  3. The lies our culture tells us about what matters – and a better way to live: David Brooks
  4. Simulations Reveal How White Lies Glue Society Together and Black Lies Create Diversity – MIT Tech Review
  5. Cognitive Dissonance – Dune : Psychology in Science Fiction