Exposing the imposter within

I remember our school time fun moment which used to happen during the declaration of test results. The response to the results declaration was hilariously different and characteristic for the party of boys and party of girls.

You will find that person (mostly in girls but boys are not exception to this too) who has got 90% (well above average but not as good as topper of the class) would be in a serious pressure and sad about his/her marks, on the other hand there is one person (definitely a boy here) who has secured just passing marks and is in cloud nine, seventh heaven and has already planned how he is going to celebrate this; To further add to this joy, he now knows that his best friend has passed ( by teacher’s and God’s grace!!!) with the grace marks. Now there is no space to contain such victorious joy. (One more funny thing which spices up this event is that the boy is confident and aware that his selectively written answers were sufficient enough for him to pass and girl/boy were shocked for not getting enough marks for such thorough answers!!) Man, those days were fun!

The sad thing was that those who had performed well enough were not considering themselves successful enough.

There are some moments in our lives as we grow up where people know that we are master of the art but we still think that this is only because of sheer luck, chance an anybody can easily replace you. It is just a matter of time.

Although you know that you are master of your art but still you think that there are somethings which can go wrong. These are the exact moments when you also think that if this is done right, it will be only because of the other external factors but not your competences or your hold on the art. You feel like at any moment someone will easily replace you and expose you as a fraudulent person who just pretended to have mastery over that art.

Albert Einstein, one of the smartest peoples the world has ever seen had following opinion about himself:

The reality is that the lifework of Albert Einstein is so valuable and beyond the general comprehension of normal human brain. Even today, many years after his absence we are learning new things from his already established ideas.

Will you call this the humility of a scholar because of the achievement the ultimate knowledge?

Maybe Yes or maybe No.

There similar examples of great people who just consider themselves lucky to excel in their careers and consider themselves fraud. They are sure that sometimes this whole game will be exposed to the public and people will see that these people were just pretending to be successful. And master of their art. There is also one ideology called “Fake it, until you make it!” (Although further discussion on this will deviate from this topic)     

Agatha Christie- the best-selling author of detective novels, the novels which outsold even the bible and Shakespearean writings had following opinion about her penmanship:

Will you still call this the humility of true knowledge, wisdom?

There is one interesting concept in psychology called the Imposter Syndrome which deals with such feelings. Imposter Syndrome loosely refers to a person’s feeling of not being worthy, undeserving of the accolades from the people.

Imposter Syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persists despite evident success. Meaning even if there are many objective proofs, indicators for the success. Mastery of the person the person still thinks that it is not because of him/her ad discredits himself/herself.  This person thinks that he/she she is just an impersonator, actor or some fraud acting of having the success or the skills. People with Imposter syndrome finds it difficult to accept their achievements, digesting people’s praise is difficult for them and always in a fear that maybe they will be exposed in a really bad way.

The Imposter syndrome was first identified by Dr. Pauline Rose Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes in their study on successful women. Maybe that is why in many believe that Imposter syndrome is observed more in successful women which is wrong. Later on, after exhaustive studies on different groups, it is found that Imposter syndrome can be found everywhere and is somewhat strong in underrepresented groups.

There are two important things to understand about imposter syndrome:

1) Highly skilled, highly knowledgeable people think that the others already know what they know so there is nothing special about what they know hence anyone can replace them easily. They are “that special” in the way others perceive them.  

2)  It is not just observed in high achieving and successful people only; Every one of us doubts themselves in their minds.

Everyone of us thinks that we are always on people’s radar or some spotlight where we are the focal point of everyone’s attention.

It is actually due to the difference between what we know about ourselves by our thoughts, our ideas, our fantasies, our fetishes, our guilty pleasures and what people know about ourselves by looking at us, seeing us doing things.

There is Japanese Proverb saying that:

Nobody wants to portray themselves as failures, nobody wants to expose those awkward failures in front of everyone and hence they try to safeguard their “Dark Secrets”. Hence, consider themselves fraud. We are the only one who know how exactly dark and gory our character is, hence we under-calculate ourselves.

But, to put in simple words- “Nobody cares what you are doing”. The funny thing is that everyone else is also thinking themselves at the focal point of people around themselves. Everyone is in spotlight, under radar of their own worlds. The moment you realize that how deeply everyone is sunk in their own life that they don’t even care about or have time to look into other people’s lives is the moment when you understand that it happens with everyone.

Types of Imposter Syndrome

There are five different types of Imposter Syndrome

1. The Perfectionists – These are the people who are always aiming for perfection, setting excessively high goals thereby not achieving them and under-calculating themselves. They think that they could have done it better. This can be eliminated by accepting that it is not about perfection but about the process. Mistakes, imperfections are part of life and cannot be eliminated at once by “perfect” way, “perfect” technique, “perfect” timing.
2. The Expert– The expert type think that they will never know everything there is to know hence underestimate what they already know. This can be eliminated by realizing that there is always something new to learn, new perspective to develop in the learning, mastering.
3. The Natural Genius– This type of peoples feel exposed/ fraud if they think that they are taking longer time than normal to achieve something. They think that it in innate in them do easily complete this task, hence are ashamed of their incompetence. This can be eliminated by being the part of the ongoing process, understanding that not everything can be mastered in a day, realizing the importance of the journey, the process.
4. The Super wo/man– This type of super persons think that if you have not worked hard to achieve something then you don’t deserve it. (These are the people who will work extra office hours for that validation of promotion! Anyways jokes apart)
5. The Soloist– These are the ones who feel ashamed to ask for help while achieving something. They feel like, requirement of that external assistance has reduced their worthiness of that achievement.

The causes for the development of imposter syndrome can be found in the type of family upbringing, exposure or shift to completely new work, performance environments, personalities showing low self-esteems, perfectionism, neuroticism, social anxiety.   

Eliminating the Imposter in you

The best way to deal with the imposter syndrome is knowing the fact that you are not the center of attention. When one understands that there is no such “spotlight” or radar over us to calculate our fraudulence, then one can become free from the judgements and metering of the achievement thereby accepting the process, the journey.

The other important part is to objectively check your abilities and their contribution to your achievements. The objective comparison will really give you the amount of your influence, your competence in that achievement.

Talk to others, open up, share what you feel. This will surprisingly show that the things you considered as awkward are happened with others too and realizing this will show you how common such things, such beliefs, such feelings are around us. Mistakes, imperfections are part of the process and happen all the time and are more common among people, everyone.

Last but not the least, know that everyone has their unique perspective about the same things which makes them to believe that the thing is special. What perspective helped you to easily understand the thing might be difficult for the other person because of lack of that perspective and its opposite is also true. Understand the perspectives of your peers, people around you and constructively have a feed-back in the process which will give you the awareness that you not the only one who thinks the way you think.

After all we are all the same but unique in a way.

(Also in later stages of life, nobody (including you) cares about how many marks you secured in tests, :D)